I was looking forward to Valerian. Not because I found it particularly appealing, but just because it is the unicorn of the modern film industry: a big-budget original movie. Yeah, it’s based on some old French comics, but that’s close enough to original in a year when I’ve seen the 8th Fast & Furious, […]
Lo and behold, we have a good DC Universe movie! I despise Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Suicide Squad. Hate them. Loathe them. I named Suicide Squad the worst movie of 2016 and would have done the same for Man of Steel had I been doing such lists that year. But there was […]
This being the 9th Planet of the Apes film, I’m continually amazed by the mileage that 20th Century Fox has squeezed out of this concept. However, this is a rare instance when I prefer the reboot series over the original series. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is my favorite of the franchise […]
The person that schedules movies at Garden State Plaza sucks at their job. This was a filler week for me, there was nothing I particularly wanted to see and nothing I felt obligated to see. I just needed to see something. I try to go to showtimes between 7:30 – 8:30, as then I […]
I fucking love these movies. The first Kingsman is one of my favorite movies of the past five years and (along with John Wick) one of the best action movies of the century so far. The mix of a James Bond-like world with extreme violence and raunchy humor is something that could easily delve […]
Wow. I don’t even know where to start with this trainwreck. King Arthur is one of those classic stories (like Robin Hood or Zorro or Tarzan) that Hollywood likes to dust off every decade or so, spend an ungodly amount of money on it and then promptly regret it. There have been many King […]
Kong: Skull Island is a hell of a lot of fun. I’ve mentioned that I’m a big fan of old monster movies and this is a love letter to the genre. Fast-paced and full of sweet monster smashing, this feels like the filmmakers studied the criticisms of the 2005 King Kong and 2014 Godzilla […]
Wonder Woman is supposed to be a beacon of hope, but that bitch lied to me. As a lifelong comic book fan that owns thousands of DC comics, the experience of watching Man of Steel, Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad was akin to having someone set my soul on fire and piss on […]
I didn’t see the last Jumanji in a theater because I thought the trailers looked lame. However, I eventually got around to watching it at home and was surprised by how much I liked it. It is a surprisingly clever, funny movie that manages to be both a true sequel to the original 1995 […]
I love these movies. The story of a man that goes on a bloody rampage when people kill his dog and steal his Mustang really speaks to me on a deep, spiritual level. Picking up from the end of the first one, John Wick: Chapter 2 has an old acquaintance of Wick contact him […]