The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ Low expectations can sometimes be a blessing. Based on the trailers, I expected Immaculate to be another jump-scare filled possession movie, the sort that makes up about 90% of modern horror films. In particular, the film looked nearly identical to Prey for the Devil, last year’s shitty jump-scare horror movie […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I’ll be honest, I’m running out of ways to say the same things about these horrendous PG-13 horror movies. I could just take my review of Night Swim or Five Nights at Freddy’s, change some nouns and repost it and it would essentially be the same thing. Like those films, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Lisa Frankenstein has been described by many critics as being like a John Hughes script directed by Tim Burton and, yeah, that is pretty accurate. Whether or not that description piques your interest will probably determine your enjoyment of this movie and I admittedly enjoyed it more than I expected. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F 2024 gets right down to business with this pathetic excuse for a horror movie that is already the front-runner for the worst film of the year. It’s a tradition (for some reason) for a terrible horror movie to come out in January, so I didn’t exactly go into the theater […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I’m pissed that critic Adam Ollinger used the line “Godzilla Minus Fun” because I had that line in my head since I saw this movie last week. Regardless, I’m joining him as one of very few people on the internet that don’t love this movie. I don’t hate it, but […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B It’s taken 16 years, but Thanksgiving is here at last. Eli Roth made the fake trailer for Thanksgiving as one of the trailers that played in the middle of the 2007 movie Grindhouse and he’s finally gotten around to making the full movie. I’m happy to report that, while it […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I’ve never played a Five Nights at Freddy’s game, but, based on what I thought I knew about the games, I was looking forward to this movie. I thought that the gist of the games was that people were stuck in a Chuck E. Cheese knockoff and the animatronics came […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- Last October, director David Gordon Green gave us one of the worst horror sequels ever made with Halloween Ends. This October, Green returns with another one of the worst horror sequels ever made with The Exorcist: Believer. If anything positive can come of this ridiculously misguided film, it’s my hope […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ First, a brief tangent: Why is everyone pronouncing the title of this movie as “Saw Ex,” as in pronouncing the letter “X?” This is the tenth Saw movie, so pronounce it as “Saw Ten.” When Saw XI inevitably arrives, are we going to refer to it as “Saw Ex Eye?” […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I feel like I review this movie five or six times a year. The feature film debut of Indian American director Bishal Dutta, It Lives Inside attempts to inject horror characters from Hindu and Buddhist mythologies into modern horror. That’s not a bad idea and could introduce a new slate […]