The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ Art the Clown returns to butcher his way through the holidays in the latest entry in the Terrifier franchise, delivering, for better or worse, exactly what fans of the series have come to expect. If you are looking for extreme gore, Terrifier 3 will not disappoint you. If you are […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I had no idea what to expect going into this movie, which is fitting since I couldn’t have possibly predicted how bonkers it is. The Substance is a balls-to-the-wall, batshit crazy, Cronenberg-esque extravaganza of body horror. It’s a bit too long and the social commentary has the subtlety of Cannibal […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Speak No Evil is a remake of the Danish film of the same name from 2022. It may seem unnecessary to remake a movie from just two years ago and, yes, I wouldn’t necessarily call this movie “necessary.” However, I was genuinely wondering how this material would be updated for […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F There was a time, not long ago, when the Blumhouse logo in front of a movie didn’t make me groan and regret my life choices. The Black Phone was my favorite movie of 2022 and the 2020 version of The Invisible Man is a great movie. That was only a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ After the debacle of Alien: Covenant, I had completely written off the Alien franchise and didn’t pay much attention to the development of this latest entry. Despite its longevity, this is a series that has purely lived off the quality of its first two entries for a long, long time. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ This is a classic example of a concept that seems much cooler on paper than it does in execution. In a Violent Nature is a slasher movie from the perspective of the slasher. More specifically, it is basically like watching a Friday the 13th movie if you were following Jason […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ Low expectations can sometimes be a blessing. Based on the trailers, I expected Immaculate to be another jump-scare filled possession movie, the sort that makes up about 90% of modern horror films. In particular, the film looked nearly identical to Prey for the Devil, last year’s shitty jump-scare horror movie […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I’ll be honest, I’m running out of ways to say the same things about these horrendous PG-13 horror movies. I could just take my review of Night Swim or Five Nights at Freddy’s, change some nouns and repost it and it would essentially be the same thing. Like those films, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Lisa Frankenstein has been described by many critics as being like a John Hughes script directed by Tim Burton and, yeah, that is pretty accurate. Whether or not that description piques your interest will probably determine your enjoyment of this movie and I admittedly enjoyed it more than I expected. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F 2024 gets right down to business with this pathetic excuse for a horror movie that is already the front-runner for the worst film of the year. It’s a tradition (for some reason) for a terrible horror movie to come out in January, so I didn’t exactly go into the theater […]