The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ Being a huge fan of holiday slasher movies, I was very much looking forward to Heart Eyes. In my household, the calendar is secondary to viewings of Black Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving and My Bloody Valentine in marking the passage of time. The basic premise of Heart Eyes asks an intriguing […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ The marketing for Companion was mighty vague other than the repeated and disingenuous claim that it was from the creator of one of my favorite recent movies, Barbarian. In actuality, the writer and director of Barbarian, Zach Cregger, neither wrote nor directed Companion and only served as one of four […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D If you are one of those people that watches the Paranormal Activity movies and thinks “gee, I’m enjoying this, but I wish that even less was happening,” then boy do I have the movie for you. Presence is solid on a technical level, which is the film criticism equivalent of […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Leigh Whannell, director of 2020’s The Invisible Man, returns bring us another reimagining of a classic monster with Wolf Man. I’m a big fan of Invisible Man (and I’ll always remember it as the last movie I saw in a theater before the covid shutdown), so I was really looking forward […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ Art the Clown returns to butcher his way through the holidays in the latest entry in the Terrifier franchise, delivering, for better or worse, exactly what fans of the series have come to expect. If you are looking for extreme gore, Terrifier 3 will not disappoint you. If you are […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I had no idea what to expect going into this movie, which is fitting since I couldn’t have possibly predicted how bonkers it is. The Substance is a balls-to-the-wall, batshit crazy, Cronenberg-esque extravaganza of body horror. It’s a bit too long and the social commentary has the subtlety of Cannibal […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Speak No Evil is a remake of the Danish film of the same name from 2022. It may seem unnecessary to remake a movie from just two years ago and, yes, I wouldn’t necessarily call this movie “necessary.” However, I was genuinely wondering how this material would be updated for […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F There was a time, not long ago, when the Blumhouse logo in front of a movie didn’t make me groan and regret my life choices. The Black Phone was my favorite movie of 2022 and the 2020 version of The Invisible Man is a great movie. That was only a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ After the debacle of Alien: Covenant, I had completely written off the Alien franchise and didn’t pay much attention to the development of this latest entry. Despite its longevity, this is a series that has purely lived off the quality of its first two entries for a long, long time. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ This is a classic example of a concept that seems much cooler on paper than it does in execution. In a Violent Nature is a slasher movie from the perspective of the slasher. More specifically, it is basically like watching a Friday the 13th movie if you were following Jason […]