The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- I have probably mentioned this before, but Scream holds a special place in my heart. I saw the original Scream on opening night on December 19th, 1996 and expected very little from it. I was blown away and was very happy to see it become a surprise hit based on […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Watching the new I Know What You Did Last Summer is a lot like getting your dick stuck in a car door; it is really painful and you’re not sure how you got here. I do have a lot of nostalgia for the original movie from 1997 (and if you […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D To just say this up front, these movies just aren’t my kind of thing when it comes to zombies; I am much more of a Romero-style zombie guy. I coincidentally caught some of Day of the Dead on television this morning, I have a signed Night of the Living Dead […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ Being a huge fan of holiday slasher movies, I was very much looking forward to Heart Eyes. In my household, the calendar is secondary to viewings of Black Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving and My Bloody Valentine in marking the passage of time. The basic premise of Heart Eyes asks an intriguing […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ The marketing for Companion was mighty vague other than the repeated and disingenuous claim that it was from the creator of one of my favorite recent movies, Barbarian. In actuality, the writer and director of Barbarian, Zach Cregger, neither wrote nor directed Companion and only served as one of four […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D If you are one of those people that watches the Paranormal Activity movies and thinks “gee, I’m enjoying this, but I wish that even less was happening,” then boy do I have the movie for you. Presence is solid on a technical level, which is the film criticism equivalent of […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Leigh Whannell, director of 2020’s The Invisible Man, returns bring us another reimagining of a classic monster with Wolf Man. I’m a big fan of Invisible Man (and I’ll always remember it as the last movie I saw in a theater before the covid shutdown), so I was really looking forward […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ Art the Clown returns to butcher his way through the holidays in the latest entry in the Terrifier franchise, delivering, for better or worse, exactly what fans of the series have come to expect. If you are looking for extreme gore, Terrifier 3 will not disappoint you. If you are […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I had no idea what to expect going into this movie, which is fitting since I couldn’t have possibly predicted how bonkers it is. The Substance is a balls-to-the-wall, batshit crazy, Cronenberg-esque extravaganza of body horror. It’s a bit too long and the social commentary has the subtlety of Cannibal […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Speak No Evil is a remake of the Danish film of the same name from 2022. It may seem unnecessary to remake a movie from just two years ago and, yes, I wouldn’t necessarily call this movie “necessary.” However, I was genuinely wondering how this material would be updated for […]