This is just a goddamn mess. The Turning is a new adaptation of Henry James’ 1898 novel The Turn of the Screw, which was already adapted as the 1961 film The Innocents. The Innocents is often cited as one of the best haunted house movies ever made, alongside films like The Haunting and The […]
Alright, I guess we’re doing this again. You might remember The Grudge from 2004, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. You might even be aware that that movie is a remake of a Japanese movie. You probably think that’s it. You would be wrong. This is the fourth American Grudge movie and there are eight (fucking […]
About a month ago, I was at the movies (as I tend to be) and I saw the trailer for The Boy 2. At the end of the trailer, a guy behind me asked “when the fuck was there a Boy 1?” That guy’s question is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, although […]
The Empty Man was a rollercoaster of emotion. Actually it’s more like a log flume because it starts out pleasantly enough, then sharply drops you and never brings you back up again. With trailers that made it appear to be a copy of Slender Man and Bye Bye Man, I was fully prepared to […]
Rarely do I find myself in agreement with mainstream critics when it comes to horror films, but Us truly is one of the greatest and scariest horror films ever made. If you combine the sleazy grit of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with the dark artistry of The Shining, you are getting close to how […]
Have you ever watched Creature from the Black Lagoon and thought that it should be more pretentious and artsy? Well, here is The Shape of Water. Also, fuck you. Sally Hawkins stars as Elisa, a cleaning lady at a government facility in the early 1960s. The latest arrival at the facility is a […]
I heard that some sort of comic book movie came out this weekend, but first I’m here to tell you about this flaming bag of dogshit. Quick update, I saw Hellboy last week but I’ve had a very busy couple of weeks and didn’t have a chance to review it. Normally when that happens, […]
I was obsessed with Stephen King when I was a little kid and Pet Sematary was one of my favorite books. I read it when I was 7 or 8 years old, so I don’t remember it much beyond the broad strokes and that it was creepy and sad as hell. I have seen […]
I am about to unload a dump truck of hate onto this movie. I also love this story. Both the novel and the 1990 miniseries had a major impact on me as a kid. I’ve read the book twice and still enjoy the 1990 version despite its flaws. I didn’t love Chapter 1 of […]
As much as I love The Shining, I’m not sure if we needed a sequel nearly 40 years later. Having read the book Doctor Sleep, I think that even Stephen King may agree with me. While the book is entertaining, it is also a simple rewrite away from having nothing to do with The […]