Happy new year again! Let’s talk about the utter crap that came out in 2023! The ground rules are the same as for the list of my favorite movies of the year. I want to emphasize that a movie must receive a theatrical release in order to qualify for this list. If it […]
2022 has drawn to a close and it was quite a mixed bag for cinema. On the plus side, we had some really great films this. On the downside, we had far more mediocre-to-terrible movies. Top Gun: Maverick is the year’s top-grossing film and was unexpectedly bounced from my top five in the last week […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F This is the first time that I’ve ever discussed Disney animation on this site, so I need to go off on a bit of a rant before I really get into this dumpster fire. So let me summarize my thoughts on this movie before going off on a tangent: Strange […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F Rob Zombie, rejoice. Somebody may have finally made a Michael Myers movie as bad as your Halloween II and I didn’t think that was scientifically possible. Halloween Ends is a catastrophic trainwreck of a film. Everything about it is so misguided and ludicrous that I nearly went passed anger and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F If saying that absolutely nothing happens in a movie is considered a spoiler, then I am about to spoil the shit of out Umma. This film broke new ground for me, as it actually showed me something that I’ve never encountered before in the thousands and thousands of horror films […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F It’s that time of year again. It’s the anniversary of whatever-the-fuck Liam Neeson movie was released in winter last year (I think it was either The Marksman or Honest Thief, but I get my Neeson years mixed up), so it’s time for another shitty action movie that’s so generic that […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F “January movies” has almost become its own subgenre. This particular breed of shitty filmmaking is most associated with horror films, but also routinely expands into other genres, and the defining characteristic is that a typical “January movie” completely defies memory. It is so bland and forgettable that it dares you […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I want to begin by quoting what is now my all-time favorite Rotten Tomatoes blurb. This gem comes to us from a positive review of The French Dispatch published by New City Film, a Chicago-based film criticism site: “An encomium to incunabula and marginalia and compulsive sketching and drenching details,.. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F Venom: Let There Be Carnage is one of the worst comic book movies ever made and I think I’ve seen every one of them. I hated every second of this film. I hated every second of the experience of watching this film, and I’ll review the audience at the end. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- Let me start with a bit of a disclaimer: There are plenty of reviews of Candyman that will tell you how brave or relevant or powerful the film is, or how the film is any number of other adjectives that used to actually mean something but now just vaguely denote […]