The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- If somebody is talking about the greatest directors of all time and doesn’t mention Steven Spielberg, then they are just trying to be too cool for school. Jaws is my favorite film of all time. Add in Jurassic Park and the first three Indiana Jones movies, and you have five […]
Category: Science Fiction
Avatar: Fire and Ash
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D James Cameron is truly a genius. I wasn’t a fan of the first two Avatar movies, but I had an epiphany somewhere during the third hour of watching Avatar: Fire and Ash. It was like lightning struck me and I had this grand moment of intellectual clarity. Alright, this will […]
Jurassic World: Rebirth
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D This review has a prologue because I had a miserable experience watching this. I missed the first 20 minutes or so of Jurassic World: Rebirth. Oh, I was in the theater and watching the movie. I wasn’t late or anything. I was just completely distracted by my blinding hatred of […]
Alien: Romulus
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ After the debacle of Alien: Covenant, I had completely written off the Alien franchise and didn’t pay much attention to the development of this latest entry. Despite its longevity, this is a series that has purely lived off the quality of its first two entries for a long, long time. […]
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ First of all, how am I supposed to pronounce the title of this movie? Is it supposed to be “Godzilla and Kong?” If so, when did “x” start to mean “and?” It isn’t “Godzilla versus Kong” because that was the last movie. Is it a math problem, like “Godzilla Times […]
Dune: Part Two
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I’ve been putting off writing this review because, contrary to popular belief, I don’t like being “that guy.” I don’t like being that one guy that trashes something that everyone else loves. I’ve spent the last five days reading the almost universally positive reviews for Dune: Part Two and trying […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C If you aren’t like me at all, you have spent the eight years since the release of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 wondering when we would finally get a film explaining the origin of series villain Coriolanus Snow. Well, the day has finally arrived and the completely unnecessary […]
Godzilla Minus One
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I’m pissed that critic Adam Ollinger used the line “Godzilla Minus Fun” because I had that line in my head since I saw this movie last week. Regardless, I’m joining him as one of very few people on the internet that don’t love this movie. I don’t hate it, but […]
The Creator
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- The Creator is a movie that I wanted to love, but I only managed to like it. From director Gareth Edwards, who brought us Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and the 2014 Godzilla, The Creator is a unicorn in modern Hollywood: a major sci-fi release that isn’t a remake, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Following Fast X, The Boogeyman and now Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, the cinematic theme of summer 2023 seems to be movies that are unable to meet even the lowest of expectations. Like Fast X and The Boogeyman, I wasn’t expecting the latest Transformers to be a good movie (does anyone […]