Here is the deal with spoilers. The first few paragraphs are spoiler-free, and then I will write SPOILER ALERT. Somebody once asked me if that meant that I’m about to start writing spoilers. That guy is an idiot. Don’t be like that guy. I saw Iron Man in a theater when it came out back […]
I come with a gift for the world: the first negative review of Black Panther. Now, I know what you’re thinking. But, you say, you’re a cynical bastard that doesn’t like anything made after 1998. Yes, that’s somewhat true. But my brother and a friend of ours accompanied me to see this movie. My […]
Bear with me for a minute. I loved Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. I would get up early, get myself a bowl of Captain Crunch or Count Chocula and spend 5-6 hours in cartoon and sugar-fueled kid heaven. If you’re around my age (early-to-mid 30s), you might remember that one year we were […]
I estimate that approximately 80% of modern life is just lying about how much you’re laughing out loud. But do you remember the last time that something made you legitimately laugh? Not a fake, texting lol, but legitimately made you laugh out loud? And maybe you heard that same joke again months or maybe […]
As the old saying goes, you can’t be everything to everyone. Venom was seemingly made to prove this point. This movie is a goddamn mess that tries to throw in something for every conceivable audience and, as a result, it won’t satisfy anybody. Comic fans will be annoyed by the butchering of the source […]
This is going to be a long one, folks, because I’m not happy. Following his excellent appearance in Captain America: Civil War, the cleverly titled Spiderman: Homecoming is the web-slinger’s true introduction into the Marvel Universe where he belongs. For those that don’t follow movie industry shenanigans, there is a reason why this took […]
I honestly can’t believe that I’m saying this, but Power Rangers is pretty good. I was fully prepared to hate this film. I had pre-planned a bunch of jokes for this review and now I can’t use a goddamned one of them. I hated the trailers for this, as they did the film a […]
Logan is one of the best superhero movies ever made. Speaking as a film fanatic who owns thousands of comic books, that isn’t something that I would say lightly. It is both bewildering and stunning that this was made by the same director (James Mangold) that made The Wolverine. It’s bewildering that the man […]
Thor: Ragnarok is my favorite Marvel Universe movie since the first Guardians of the Galaxy, which makes sense since they share a similar action-comedy tone, and is far superior to the first two Thor movies. Simply stated, this movie is a hell of a lot of fun. I don’t dislike the first two Thor […]
Lo and behold, we have a good DC Universe movie! I despise Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Suicide Squad. Hate them. Loathe them. I named Suicide Squad the worst movie of 2016 and would have done the same for Man of Steel had I been doing such lists that year. But there was […]