Bear with me for a minute. I loved Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. I would get up early, get myself a bowl of Captain Crunch or Count Chocula and spend 5-6 hours in cartoon and sugar-fueled kid heaven. If you’re around my age (early-to-mid 30s), you might remember that one year we were promised the cartoon crossover that no kid had dared to dream possible. There was going to be a special cartoon featuring the Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, Looney Tunes, Smurfs, Muppet Babies, fucking everyone. Minds were blown, anticipation was high and it was a good time to be alive. What could possibly bring all these characters together? Would my mind explode from the coolness of seeing Slimer hanging out with Michelangelo? Possibly, but worth the risk. And then the day finally came, every kid was glued to the tv…..and it was a fucking drug PSA. A goddam public service message. It was a trick. A mean, adult trick disguised as fun. The disappointment of that cartoon haunts me to this day, possibly being the main factor in the cynical curmudgeon that I’ve become. But finally, all of these years later, I have seen the equivalent. Avengers: Infinity War, unlike that bastardized lie of a cartoon, delivers on the promise of putting a shit ton of loved characters in a single story and actually being fun. That’s what this is: An enormous Saturday morning cartoon. I may have since traded in my bowl of Lucky Charms for bourbon and cigarettes, but this still triggers the part of my brain that want to see dumb, fun action and wonders “wouldn’t it be cool if Thor met Rocket Raccoon?”
I won’t get much into the plot, which is suitably minimal for this sort of thing. But it does an excellent job of serving as the culmination of a storyline that has been building for 10 years, which itself is an accomplishment. Thanos, the big bad that has been lurking behind the scenes since these movies first started, has finally arrived to assemble all of the infinity stones and wield them using his infinity gauntlet (an item first glimpsed in the background waaaaay back in the first Thor movie, which is some amazing planning). Thanos wants to wipe out half of the population of the universe and the completed gauntlet will allow him to do that with a snap of his fingers. What heroes are needed to stop him? Well, fucking all of them. Except for Hawkeye and Antman. Not sure where those guys are. Oh, and Howard the Duck. I haven’t fucking forgotten about that, Marvel.
The fun and charm of Infinity War is in seeing all of these characters together and mismatched, and this movie absolutely delivers on that. We get to see Thor team up with Groot and Rocket, and Iron Man with Dr. Strange and Star Lord, and Captain America with Black Panther. It’s an epic mishmash of characters that will make your inner 8-year-old smile. The interplay between the characters is good fun, especially seeing Star Lord banter with Iron Man or Rocket yell at Thor. I really don’t have much to say about the appeal of this movie; either the idea of seeing all of these people together will appeal to you or it won’t. If you’re in the latter category, you might be dead inside.
There are downsides, but nothing major. It’s a narrative inevitability that a movie like this will lack focus. There are so many characters that the story can never stick with anybody for too long. The film does a great job of giving each character their moment, but it does sometimes feel more like a string of vignettes than a singular, driving narrative. Some characters get much more time, but thankfully that was mainly the characters that I really like (particularly Iron Man and the Guardians, who probably get the most screen time). Outside of Spiderman’s rogues, Marvel’s biggest weakness is probably the lack of interesting villains and that is still a bit of an issue here. Thanos is threatening and there is a surprising amount of logic and pathos in his plan, but he’s still a huge, monotone block of computer effects. It’s not bad and, as best as I can recall, is reflective of the character from the comics. But he’s still just kind of blah.
I won’t spoil anything, but I do want to touch on the ending a bit. KIND OF A VAGUE SPOILER BUT NO DETAILS……………………..yes, people die in this. And its genuinely sad. But if you grew up reading comics, you know that this kind of shit happens all of the time. Comic characters die and come back so often that they might as well replace the pearly gates with a revolving door. If you want to know who will actually be dead at the end of next year’s Avengers 4, you will learn more from the actors’ contracts and salaries than from the ending of this movie. But I’m fine with that. I’ve read a million comic stories like this, so it neither bothered me (which is good) or emotionally impacted me (which is bad). My one real gripe is that the film ends with a massive, um, let’s say problem. This is meant as the cliffhanger for part 4 (that was announced like 2 years ago, so it isn’t a spoiler). My issue is that the solution to this problem is clearly shown literally seconds before the problem is introduced. I’m being intentionally vague, but that was somewhat sloppy writing. I could have guessed what was going to happen in the next one; they didn’t have to fucking spell it out for me. Or maybe I’m wrong. If I am, I’m sure someone will remind me of this in a year.
Look, you’re probably going to see this movie. Judging by the box office, there is a good chance that you already have. But if you’re on the fence and have grown tired of comic movies, give this a shot and have fun with it. It’s not my favorite Marvel movie (off the top of my head, I would put it behind the first Avengers and the first Iron Man and Guardians movies). But it’s a crossover on a scale that has never been done outside of a comic book before and, unlike that goddamn cartoon, it actually delivers on what it promised.
Image By: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avengers:_Infinity_War#/media/File:Avengers_Infinity_War_poster.jpg
