Not counting public domain characters (like Dracula, Tarzan, Robin Hood, etc.), Godzilla is the world’s longest-running film series. This is the 35th Godzilla movie (!) and you bet your sweet ass that I’ve seen all of them. The good news is that this is easily the best American-made Godzilla movie. The bad news is […]
This was my 250th consecutive week of going to the movies and I’m going to say something for perhaps the first time: This movie isn’t nearly as bad as people are making it out to be. No, it isn’t great and “it’s not that bad” isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, but people need to […]
Miss Bala is a remake of the 2011 Mexican film with the same title (“bala” is Spanish for “bullet”….not sure why they didn’t translate the title after going through the trouble of remaking the entire goddamn movie for Americans). The original film is a brutal, bleak, depressing R-rated drama. The trailers for this new […]
Good news, movie fans! I’ve discovered the least interesting film ever made and it’s the new Tomb Raider. Note that I didn’t say that its bad. No, I at least remember bad movies and this does nothing to warrant an emotional response close to labelling it bad. It also certainly isn’t good, that’s for […]
I come with a gift for the world: the first negative review of Black Panther. Now, I know what you’re thinking. But, you say, you’re a cynical bastard that doesn’t like anything made after 1998. Yes, that’s somewhat true. But my brother and a friend of ours accompanied me to see this movie. My […]
It’s finally here! And it fucking sucks! This movie has been in development for nearly two-thirds of my lifetime and I remember reading about it when I was a kid. To illustrate that point, I dug the April 1997 issue of Fangoria out of my closet and it states the following: “Touchstone Pictures bought […]
Go see this movie. Don’t wait until its on Netflix, go to the theater and see it. Let me put that plea into a bit of context. Not only is Annihilation an excellent film, but the assholes that run Paramount tried to bury it by dumping it directly onto Netflix after it received poor […]
Bear with me for a minute. I loved Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. I would get up early, get myself a bowl of Captain Crunch or Count Chocula and spend 5-6 hours in cartoon and sugar-fueled kid heaven. If you’re around my age (early-to-mid 30s), you might remember that one year we were […]
The Predator (or Predator 4, if it wasn’t titled by an asshole) is a colossal disappointment. I love the original Predator and Predator 2 is highly underrated (fun fact: Predator 2 was the first movie to receive the NC-17 rating when that replaced the X rating in 1990), but the series has been […]
Yeah, I’m back. I’ve been travelling a lot for the last month and haven’t had time to write reviews. Rest assured, I have found time to keep on my movie schedule and did see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Sicario: Day of the Soldado, Antman & the Wasp and Skyscraper. To summarize those films: meh, […]