I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
Prior to seeing this film, I only had a vague notion of what Slender Man is. After seeing this film, I only have a vague notion of what Slender Man is. Seriously, I don’t know what the fuck this movie is about. This movie is so bad that Sony tried to get out of […]
Overlord is not what I was expecting. Based on the trailers, I expected a goofy, over-the-top horror/comedy in the vein of Evil Dead 2 or Demon Knight. Instead, the closest comparison that I can make is From Dusk till Dawn. Not in terms of plot, but in the sense that this is basically two […]
2018 has finally given us a decent remake of Death Wish and it isn’t the remake of Death Wish. Peppermint isn’t actually just a copy of Death Wish (or a million other vigilante movies), but somehow remakes the entire Death Wish series. I’ve noted before that that series starts with a somber, serious film […]
What the hell is Phoenix Forgotten, you ask? Well, dear reader, that is a great question. I had never heard of this movie until it appeared on the release schedule a couple of weeks ago. I never saw a single trailer or commercial for it. It features a cast of unknowns, is from a […]
Rampage is stupid, but it’s a good kind of stupid. I vaguely remember playing the arcade game as a kid (and played the updated version at Dave & Buster’s about a month ago) and was curious about how a movie would work since the game has little plot. In the game, you select one […]
Ready Player One is a lot of fun, though that may largely be because I’m the exact demographic for this movie. This is a love letter to pop culture of the late 70s-80s. Anybody that grew up loving the movies, video games and comic books of that era will likely spend portions of this […]
Replicas is a frustrating film that feels like a product of two writers. The first writer is a pretty smart guy that wanted to write an interesting and intelligent science fiction film. The second writer is still trying to finish his 7th grade book report on The Giver because he can’t grasp what a […]
Alright, this has to stop. Following the Unfriended movies, this is the third movie that I’ve seen that takes place entirely via a computer screen. This gimmick needs to be killed with fire. I initially thought that maybe, just maybe this would change my mind about this kind of film. It’s in a different […]
Short review for everyone complaining that my reviews are too long: This movie is good. Now, for everyone else: Mission: Impossible is one of those series that’s perfectly fine, but I can never remember a damn thing about them. I know that Part 2 is my least favorite and has that godawful Metallica […]
This review is late because I saw this nearly a week ago and I’m still struggling to articulate my hatred for this piece of shit. When I see something that pisses me off, I usually have half the review in my head by the time I get to my car. This left me with […]