The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+
I’ve often wondered what movies people will be nostalgic about in 30 years. With the modern obsession with remakes and reboots, the current generation doesn’t have much to call their own. When today’s teenagers are approaching 40, will they be nostalgic for the nostalgic reboots of movies from the 70s, 80s and 90s? That will create a creatively bankrupt cycle, where each generation is nostalgic for a slightly different version of the same thing. That’s depressing.
That musing brings me to Halloween, a franchise that is so obsessed with its own past that it will never either end or move forward. It is stuck in this bizarre time loop where the series can never advance too far before it is pulled back and reverted to a redo of the original film in one way or another. I personally lose interest in the series after Halloween 6 because that is the end of the original continuity and we have been left with reboots ever since. As lame as it may be, Halloween 6 was at least going somewhere. It was going somewhere stupid, sure, but it was at least going somewhere. Since we never got an actual Halloween 7, the series has since become nothing but endless retreads of the Michael vs. Laurie storyline and Halloween Kills is no exception. I just don’t care anymore.
Picking up immediately after the events of the last movie, Michael survives (spoiler!) and Laurie is taken to the hospital (like in Halloween 2). Michael continues his rampage and the residents of Haddonfield become aware of what is happening. Among those residents are Tommy (played by Anthony Michael Hall) and Lindsey (played by Kyle Richards), who are the children that Laurie was babysitting in the original film. Tommy has become a bit paranoid about Michael in the last few decades (like in Halloween 6) and he starts to organize a mob to hunt him down (like in Halloween 4).
Perhaps more so than any other entry in this series, Halloween Kills is hampered by its obsession with the original film. Not only do Tommy and Lindsey return, but we get the return of Sheriff Brackett, Nurse Marion (who already died in another timeline) and even Lonnie from the original as well. Don’t remember Lonnie? That’s okay because he was a completely insignificant character that is given ample screentime here for no apparent reason other than to make as many references to the original as possible. We even get new footage showing events taking place immediately after the original movie on Halloween night in 1978. I must say that the 1978 footage is impressive on a technical level. I don’t know if it’s the color correction or lighting or what, but it actually looks like it was shot in 1978. It even resurrects Dr. Loomis (with practical effects!) and its an amazing illusion. However, all of this (technically impressive or not) is just trying to further beat a horse that’s been dead for decades. There is nothing left to be taken from the original. It was a very simple story. There is nothing left to mine from it, the well has run dry. Looking at every character and every situation from the original film has become an exhausting analysis of a classic movie and it almost makes the classic seem less fun.
Halloween Kills also takes itself far, far too seriously. The film is focused on the trauma and PTSD of survivors of Michael’s attacks and that emphasis just isn’t in the spirit of the franchise. This goes back to my comment in the No Time to Die review about the modern obsession with realism. Halloween movies are supposed to be the equivalent of an amusement park haunted house; you get scared or creeped-out in the moment and then you laugh about it. It’s fun. It’s not supposed to be some fucking meditation on the psychological and sociological impact of violence. It’s odd to me that the filmmakers seem so singularly focused on the original in terms of plot and character while simultaneously misunderstanding the tone of the very same film.
The filmmakers also seem damn determined to have a message, but I’m not entirely sure what that message is. Is the message simply that mob violence is bad? Did we need a movie to tell us that? Why does a Halloween movie even have a message? The town becomes possibly the most hilariously ineffective angry mob in the history of angry mobs. They mistake another mental patient for Michael and hunt him down, even though the man is about a foot shorter than Michael and is actually asking them for help. It’s fucking ridiculous. A mob of Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles would instantly recognize that this guy isn’t Michael Myers. Then the movie takes time to somberly reflect on the actions of the mob, as if this is some sort of deep social commentary. Halloween 4 did this exact same thing, except it didn’t take up a half hour of screentime and wasn’t so up its own ass about making some sort of statement. Mob violence is bad? There is evil inside all of us? Is this supposed to be insightful?
What somewhat saves the film is Michael Myers himself and the absolute carnage on display. Halloween Kills is brutal and easily the goriest film in the series. It is so brutal, in fact, that is almost comes across as mean spirited. The Halloween franchise was never as gory as Friday the 13th and was usually more focused on atmosphere and suspense than its counterpart at Crystal Lake. That’s not the case here. The kills here aren’t creative, but they are vicious. People are stabbed and impaled and broken in close-up detail. Michael himself isn’t so much the ghostly figure of films past, but a juggernaut that cuts through people with the subtlety of a buzzsaw. This is all in complete contrast to John Carpenter’s original vision for the character, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t entertaining. Especially considering how tame and safe most modern horror films are, I oddly appreciated the almost ridiculous cruelty of the film.
The performances are also strong across the board. I imagine that many will be disappointed that Jamie Lee Curtis does little but lay in a hospital bed, but I didn’t mind since I’ve grown tired of the character (not of Curtis, but of the character in general and the franchise’s self-defeating obsession with her). The real star is Anthony Michael Hall as Tommy, taking the role over from Paul Rudd in Halloween 6 (the producers tried to get Rudd to return, which would have made this series even more confusing). Hall’s version of Tommy is an unhinged powder keg and is both relatable and intimidating. His performance is imbedded with trauma without the need for continuous exposition to explain it. Will Patton is also as strong as ever in his role, even if his character gets far more background than is warranted.
Halloween Kills ultimately feels like an insignificant film. It is the middle part of a trilogy, bridging the gap between Halloween and next year’s Halloween Ends, and it feels like the middle part of a trilogy. It feels like an unnecessary epilogue to the last film and does nothing to move the series anywhere. The film is a tonal mess and is mostly a hodgepodge of elements from earlier films, from the hospital setting (Halloween 2) to the mob violence (Halloween 4) to pretty much everything else (the original Halloween). It’s not a terrible film and is worthwhile if you’re a gore fan, but it is an otherwise forgettable and unnecessary entry into a series that ran out of creative steam decades ago.
Image By: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_Kills#/media/File:Halloween_Kills_poster.jpg
