Considering that I hate the Charlie’s Angels movies from the early 2000s, I had a pretty low bar for this new version. The makers of the latest Charlie’s Angels not only lowered that bar, they then took the bar, wrapped it in the most trite of feminist clichés and beat me over the fucking […]
I heard that some sort of comic book movie came out this weekend, but first I’m here to tell you about this flaming bag of dogshit. Quick update, I saw Hellboy last week but I’ve had a very busy couple of weeks and didn’t have a chance to review it. Normally when that happens, […]
As you may have noticed, I watch a lot of bad movies. Most of those, though, are either forgettable and boring or they are cynical cashgrabs. Serenity is none of those things. Serenity is something special. This trainwreck is so misguided and miscalculated that I don’t know what to make of it. It’s either […]
Seriously, what the fuck? Why is there an Unfriended 2? I can’t believe that I’m even saying “Unfriended 2.” I didn’t even know that this was in production and just heard of it a few weeks ago when I saw the trailer. That was probably the most frightening trailer that I’ve ever seen, as […]
I admit it. I was looking forward to this. You see, folks, my bar is getting pretty fucking low. I no longer even hope that most movies will be good. I just hope that they will be memorable, for better or worse. With that in mind, the trailer for this movie is fucking amazing. […]
This is shockingly awful. Let me start by saying that I don’t like Clint Eastwood. I fucking love Clint Eastwood. I love him as an actor, I love him as a director. He is one of the most iconic figures in the history of Hollywood and perhaps the most iconic such figure still working. […]
Prior to seeing this film, I only had a vague notion of what Slender Man is. After seeing this film, I only have a vague notion of what Slender Man is. Seriously, I don’t know what the fuck this movie is about. This movie is so bad that Sony tried to get out of […]
This review is late because I saw this nearly a week ago and I’m still struggling to articulate my hatred for this piece of shit. When I see something that pisses me off, I usually have half the review in my head by the time I get to my car. This left me with […]