I apologize to my millions of regular readers that I had to take a couple of months off, but I will be back at it in the new year. Meanwhile, it is time to reflect on the fucking dumpster fire that was 2024. Wow. This was easily the worst year for movies in the decade […]
Category: 2024
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ Art the Clown returns to butcher his way through the holidays in the latest entry in the Terrifier franchise, delivering, for better or worse, exactly what fans of the series have come to expect. If you are looking for extreme gore, Terrifier 3 will not disappoint you. If you are […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I wish I could have been there when director and co-writer Todd Phillips pitched the idea for Joker: Folie à Deux because logically this movie shouldn’t exist. The first Joker was a massive, $1 billion grossing hit ostensibly based on the most famous villain in all of pop culture. This […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- Saturday Night is a dramatization (or fictionalization, depending on how you look at it) of the 90 minutes leading up to the filming of the first episode of Saturday Night Live on October 11, 1975. Like many people, I stopped watching Saturday Night Live a long, long time ago, but […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F It goes without saying that Francis Ford Coppola is one of the most revered directors of all time, primarily for what is arguably the greatest 4-movie streak of any director in film history (The Godfather, The Conversation, The Godfather Part 2 and Apocalypse Now). His filmography is, at best, inconsistent […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I had no idea what to expect going into this movie, which is fitting since I couldn’t have possibly predicted how bonkers it is. The Substance is a balls-to-the-wall, batshit crazy, Cronenberg-esque extravaganza of body horror. It’s a bit too long and the social commentary has the subtlety of Cannibal […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Speak No Evil is a remake of the Danish film of the same name from 2022. It may seem unnecessary to remake a movie from just two years ago and, yes, I wouldn’t necessarily call this movie “necessary.” However, I was genuinely wondering how this material would be updated for […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D The original Beetlejuice is a classic and arguably one of the most original films released by a major studio since the 1970s. It’s a movie that I’ve probably watched a couple dozen times and I have fond memories of the cartoon from when I was a kid. Given the film’s […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F There was a time, not long ago, when the Blumhouse logo in front of a movie didn’t make me groan and regret my life choices. The Black Phone was my favorite movie of 2022 and the 2020 version of The Invisible Man is a great movie. That was only a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I seem to be in the minority on this, but I am not, in principle, opposed to the idea of a new Crow movie. Yes, the original movie is intrinsically and tragically tied to Brandon Lee’s legacy. However, one must consider two things: First, there have already been three terrible […]