The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F There was a time, not long ago, when the Blumhouse logo in front of a movie didn’t make me groan and regret my life choices. The Black Phone was my favorite movie of 2022 and the 2020 version of The Invisible Man is a great movie. That was only a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ After the debacle of Alien: Covenant, I had completely written off the Alien franchise and didn’t pay much attention to the development of this latest entry. Despite its longevity, this is a series that has purely lived off the quality of its first two entries for a long, long time. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ This is a classic example of a concept that seems much cooler on paper than it does in execution. In a Violent Nature is a slasher movie from the perspective of the slasher. More specifically, it is basically like watching a Friday the 13th movie if you were following Jason […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ Low expectations can sometimes be a blessing. Based on the trailers, I expected Immaculate to be another jump-scare filled possession movie, the sort that makes up about 90% of modern horror films. In particular, the film looked nearly identical to Prey for the Devil, last year’s shitty jump-scare horror movie […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I’ll be honest, I’m running out of ways to say the same things about these horrendous PG-13 horror movies. I could just take my review of Night Swim or Five Nights at Freddy’s, change some nouns and repost it and it would essentially be the same thing. Like those films, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Lisa Frankenstein has been described by many critics as being like a John Hughes script directed by Tim Burton and, yeah, that is pretty accurate. Whether or not that description piques your interest will probably determine your enjoyment of this movie and I admittedly enjoyed it more than I expected. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F 2024 gets right down to business with this pathetic excuse for a horror movie that is already the front-runner for the worst film of the year. It’s a tradition (for some reason) for a terrible horror movie to come out in January, so I didn’t exactly go into the theater […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I’m pissed that critic Adam Ollinger used the line “Godzilla Minus Fun” because I had that line in my head since I saw this movie last week. Regardless, I’m joining him as one of very few people on the internet that don’t love this movie. I don’t hate it, but […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B It’s taken 16 years, but Thanksgiving is here at last. Eli Roth made the fake trailer for Thanksgiving as one of the trailers that played in the middle of the 2007 movie Grindhouse and he’s finally gotten around to making the full movie. I’m happy to report that, while it […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I’ve never played a Five Nights at Freddy’s game, but, based on what I thought I knew about the games, I was looking forward to this movie. I thought that the gist of the games was that people were stuck in a Chuck E. Cheese knockoff and the animatronics came […]