I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
As a connoisseur of cinematic trainwrecks, I have really been looking forward to this film. For the uninitiated, The Disaster Artist is the true story of the making of one of the most notoriously awful movies ever made: The Room. I fucking love The Room. I have probably watched it more than a dozen […]
The Dark Tower is Stephen King’s magnum opus, an eight-volume sprawling epic that spans thousands of pages, connects in some way with most of his other novels and makes The Lord of the Rings look like a short story. It is also a very complex story that crosses into multiple worlds, timelines and perspectives […]
I have never been a big fan of M. Night Shyamalan, but I was pleasantly surprised by his last film, The Visit. That movie was a batshit crazy blend of horror and comedy, the tone of which I liken to a lost episode of Tales from the Crypt stretched out to feature length (I […]
This is going to be a long one, folks, because I’m not happy. Following his excellent appearance in Captain America: Civil War, the cleverly titled Spiderman: Homecoming is the web-slinger’s true introduction into the Marvel Universe where he belongs. For those that don’t follow movie industry shenanigans, there is a reason why this took […]
I seem to be in the minority with this series because I don’t hate any of the previous installments. Sure, the first one is easily the best. Yeah, they are all too long and the fourth one felt forced and unnecessary. But none of the previous sequels particularly bothered me; they are just harmless […]
I honestly can’t believe that I’m saying this, but Power Rangers is pretty good. I was fully prepared to hate this film. I had pre-planned a bunch of jokes for this review and now I can’t use a goddamned one of them. I hated the trailers for this, as they did the film a […]
So these things are still being made. The sixth film in the series adapting the classic video game franchise, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter has us again following our hero Alice (who isn’t in the games) as she returns to the Hive (which isn’t in the games) for a final battle with Dr. Isaacs […]
Murder on the Orient Express is, of course, an adaptation of the classic mystery novel by Agatha Christie. I haven’t read the book (though I have read some of Christie’s many other mystery novels), but I have seen the original 1974 film adaptation. Truth be told, while it is considered a classic, it was […]
Life sucks. Now that I’ve gotten that obvious line out of the way, let’s get something else out of the way: Life is an Alien ripoff. A damn blatant one too. Now, I’m not particularly averse to ripoffs. I love slasher movies and they are all ripoffs of Black Christmas. I rented many […]
Logan is one of the best superhero movies ever made. Speaking as a film fanatic who owns thousands of comic books, that isn’t something that I would say lightly. It is both bewildering and stunning that this was made by the same director (James Mangold) that made The Wolverine. It’s bewildering that the man […]