I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I should probably just get this out of the way: I don’t like musicals. I especially don’t like dramatic musicals because I just can’t take a big dramatic moment seriously when people are breaking into song and dance. In West Side Story, I can’t feel the tension of an impending […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C It’s Christmas time and I feel like I’m sledding down Mount Crumpit to steal toys from all the girls and boys with the following statement: Spiderman: No Way Home isn’t very good. I know, I know. I must be a curmudgeon because this movie seems to be universally loved. I […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I’ll start by admitting that I don’t know a damn thing about fashion. For those that know me, this will come as a shocking admission. My attire of flannels and 80s band t-shirts may signify that I’m on the cutting edge of the latest trends, but that is just a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City is easily the best Resident Evil movie. Sure, that’s a pretty frigging low bar for a series that went six movies without even getting the genre of its source material right. And sure, this thing is far from perfect. The plot is sometimes borderline […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D The original Ghostbusters is the first movie that I can ever remember seeing and it started my love of movies. I was obsessed with it and I know it by heart. Ghostbusters 2 was (I think) the second movie that I ever saw in a theater. The Ghostbusters cartoon was […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ This being the fourth Marvel movie of the year, with a fifth one coming before the year ends, I’m really running out of shit to say about these things. Lame CGI monsters and lamer comic relief and blah blah. Whatever. Let’s just get fucking on with it. Eternals reveals […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C One of my favorite podcasts (The Projection Booth) described this film as “dour and joyless.” I would just stop there if it wasn’t for the arbitrary length requirements that I’ve set for these reviews. For the uninitiated, Dune is an adaptationof Frank Herbert’s 1965 novel that has become the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I went into Antlers expecting a generic monster movie. I was not expecting a serious drama about child abuse that also happened to include a creature from Native American folklore. Perhaps I should have known better since this is from the director of Black Mass and Hostiles, but I was […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I want to begin by quoting what is now my all-time favorite Rotten Tomatoes blurb. This gem comes to us from a positive review of The French Dispatch published by New City Film, a Chicago-based film criticism site: “An encomium to incunabula and marginalia and compulsive sketching and drenching details,.. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I’ve often wondered what movies people will be nostalgic about in 30 years. With the modern obsession with remakes and reboots, the current generation doesn’t have much to call their own. When today’s teenagers are approaching 40, will they be nostalgic for the nostalgic reboots of movies from the 70s, […]