I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Damn it, The Night House is so close to being a great movie. So very, very close. For about the first three quarters of this film, I was giving it an A and ready to proclaim it the best film of 2021 thus far. Then the last quarter happened and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- The original Don’t Breathe was a clever, tense horror flick that cleverly subverted the home-invasion subgenre. The story of a group of thieve that break into a blind veteran’s home to steal his considerable savings only to discover that the seemingly defenseless old guy is actually a quite capable maniac, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- I wasn’t writing reviews yet when the first Suicide Squad was released in 2016, but that’s probably for the best as I’m not sure if my vocabulary could adequately describe my hatred for that loathsome piece of shit. The Suicide Squad doesn’t exactly have an inspired title, but otherwise feels […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C If you are familiar with 80s cartoons, you will likely recall that the sword-wielding assassin Snake Eyes was one of the coolest characters on the original G.I. Joe show. Playing G.I. Joe with your friends, Snake Eyes would likely be one of the first characters that somebody would call dibs […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I’ll preface this by saying that I’m being generous with the B- grade. Old is a movie that doesn’t live up to its own concept and can never make the leap from decent to great. The core idea of the film lays a foundation something greater than what was actually […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Well, my demands have been met and my pleas have finally been answered. Here is a sequel to Escape Room. Yay. While the first film is a maddeningly bland version of Cube, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions is, well, the exact same goddamn thing. But, for anybody that saw the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B On one hand, I’m ecstatic to finally see Black Widow in theaters. Why? Because I psychologically couldn’t handle seeing the trailer anymore. As one of the high-profile releases delayed an entire year by the pandemic, I have seen Black Widow’s trailer every fucking week for the last year and a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I saw this movie yesterday and my initial reaction was that it was in the D-D+ range. I expected it to be awful and it was, but I wasn’t surprised by the awfulness and, consequently, it didn’t particularly piss me off. After a day of reflection, that doesn’t make any sense. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I’m late to see Cruella primarily because I had no intention of seeing it, but nothing else came out this past week and here I am. However, I’m actually happy that I did catch it in a theater. I have major problems with this film, mainly with the opening and the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Look, I hate these movies. I’ve been consistent and open about my hatred of these movies. However, like with The Conjuring, I try to be as objective as possible with every new entry. In this case, I don’t even think that hardcore fans of the series will find much to love […]