The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Well, my demands have been met and my pleas have finally been answered. Here is a sequel to Escape Room. Yay. While the first film is a maddeningly bland version of Cube, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions is, well, the exact same goddamn thing. But, for anybody that saw the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B On one hand, I’m ecstatic to finally see Black Widow in theaters. Why? Because I psychologically couldn’t handle seeing the trailer anymore. As one of the high-profile releases delayed an entire year by the pandemic, I have seen Black Widow’s trailer every fucking week for the last year and a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I saw this movie yesterday and my initial reaction was that it was in the D-D+ range. I expected it to be awful and it was, but I wasn’t surprised by the awfulness and, consequently, it didn’t particularly piss me off. After a day of reflection, that doesn’t make any sense. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I’m late to see Cruella primarily because I had no intention of seeing it, but nothing else came out this past week and here I am. However, I’m actually happy that I did catch it in a theater. I have major problems with this film, mainly with the opening and the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Look, I hate these movies. I’ve been consistent and open about my hatred of these movies. However, like with The Conjuring, I try to be as objective as possible with every new entry. In this case, I don’t even think that hardcore fans of the series will find much to love […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ My regular readers, if I may assume for a moment that such people exist, know that I am not a big fan of this franchise. While the two proper The Conjuring entries are better than the spinoffs, I find all of them to be boring and overly reliant on cheap jump […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ First, I have to give Paramount credit for the title of this movie. Nowadays, I expected this to be called A More Quiet Place or A Quiet Place: Requiem for Sound or Silence: From the Book of A Quiet Place or some ridiculous nonsense. But, no, they went with the simple […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I feel like Angelina Jolie has been missing from movies for a while, so it’s kind of fascinating to see her back in this dumpster fire. Those Who Wish Me Dead is a bafflingly inept film. It isn’t even a by-the-numbers action flick because so many numbers are missing; the film […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I honestly thought that this movie was a joke the first time that I read about it. I never thought that I would seriously write the phrase “Saw IX starring Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson,” but then I read about it in a couple of other places and realized that, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- As a general rule when seeing a remake, I try to watch the original first. Wrath of Man is a remake of a 2004 French film titled Cash Truck (or Le Convoyeur, in whatever language the French speak) and, as best as I can tell, this movie is frigging impossible to […]