The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C If you are familiar with 80s cartoons, you will likely recall that the sword-wielding assassin Snake Eyes was one of the coolest characters on the original G.I. Joe show. Playing G.I. Joe with your friends, Snake Eyes would likely be one of the first characters that somebody would call dibs […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I’ll preface this by saying that I’m being generous with the B- grade. Old is a movie that doesn’t live up to its own concept and can never make the leap from decent to great. The core idea of the film lays a foundation something greater than what was actually […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Well, my demands have been met and my pleas have finally been answered. Here is a sequel to Escape Room. Yay. While the first film is a maddeningly bland version of Cube, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions is, well, the exact same goddamn thing. But, for anybody that saw the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B On one hand, I’m ecstatic to finally see Black Widow in theaters. Why? Because I psychologically couldn’t handle seeing the trailer anymore. As one of the high-profile releases delayed an entire year by the pandemic, I have seen Black Widow’s trailer every fucking week for the last year and a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I saw this movie yesterday and my initial reaction was that it was in the D-D+ range. I expected it to be awful and it was, but I wasn’t surprised by the awfulness and, consequently, it didn’t particularly piss me off. After a day of reflection, that doesn’t make any sense. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I’m late to see Cruella primarily because I had no intention of seeing it, but nothing else came out this past week and here I am. However, I’m actually happy that I did catch it in a theater. I have major problems with this film, mainly with the opening and the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Look, I hate these movies. I’ve been consistent and open about my hatred of these movies. However, like with The Conjuring, I try to be as objective as possible with every new entry. In this case, I don’t even think that hardcore fans of the series will find much to love […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ My regular readers, if I may assume for a moment that such people exist, know that I am not a big fan of this franchise. While the two proper The Conjuring entries are better than the spinoffs, I find all of them to be boring and overly reliant on cheap jump […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ First, I have to give Paramount credit for the title of this movie. Nowadays, I expected this to be called A More Quiet Place or A Quiet Place: Requiem for Sound or Silence: From the Book of A Quiet Place or some ridiculous nonsense. But, no, they went with the simple […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I feel like Angelina Jolie has been missing from movies for a while, so it’s kind of fascinating to see her back in this dumpster fire. Those Who Wish Me Dead is a bafflingly inept film. It isn’t even a by-the-numbers action flick because so many numbers are missing; the film […]