Alright, ladies, let’s just get this out of the way. You’re right. I’ve seen the memes and read the comments and I’m secure enough to admit it: Amber Heard is really fucking hot in this movie. Now, let’s move on to discussing the actual film, you sex-obsessed maniacs.
Anyway, I’m still somewhat amazed that an Aquaman movie exists, let alone that it’s this big of a deal. That’s not to say that Aquaman is a bad character. I grew up reading DC comics and know that depictions of the character in popular culture have been largely unfair. He’s actually a pretty interesting and badass character and I’m glad that he is finally getting recognition. While this movie is far from perfect, it is a fun and visually-impressive film that should please audiences and help propel Aquaman out of the c-list ranks of superheroes.
Plot, however, is not exactly the film’s strength. If you have seen Thor, imagine it taking place underwater and you are pretty close. Aquaman is a half-breed, the offspring of an Atlantean queen (played by Nicole Kidman) and a human lighthouse keeper (played by someone I don’t know). However, his full-breed half-brother, the Ocean Master (who is totally not like Loki) wants to take the crown of Atlantis (totally not Asgard) that was formerly held by the great king Atlin (totally not Odin). The Ocean Master wants to take complete control of the underwater kingdoms and wage war on the surface world and Aquaman must reluctantly take his place as the true leader in order to stop him. Again, completely different from Thor. I did appreciate the references to Aquadog and even Topo the octopus. That’s some obscure comic nerd stuff right there.
I said in my review of Mortal Engines that most superhero plots now amount to “the hero is trying to get the thing before the evil version of himself gets the thing and uses it to rule the world.” Only took a week for that quote to come in handy. The more interesting plotline is a subplot about the emergence of Black Manta, who is basically Aquaman’s equivalent of Joker or Lex Luthor. Given the extreme importance of Black Manta in the comics, I don’t understand why he was reduced to a mere subplot in this film. His bits are far more interesting than the main plot with Ocean Master and I wish the film focused more on him. It does set him up as the main villain for a sequel, but it’s just an odd choice.
The plot is pretty uninteresting, but the film survives on the strengths of its performances and visuals. The entire cast of this movie is solid. Jason Momoa’s portrayal of Aquaman isn’t exactly how I envisioned him as a kid, but it’s good enough in an era when everything has to be edgy. I do feel bad that he seemingly doesn’t own a shirt, though. The rest of the cast is filled with familiar faces, as Amber Heard, William Dafoe, Nicole Kidman, Patrick Wilson and Dolph Lundgren are all good. I mean, I’ve now seen Dolph Lundgren in two major movies in the past month and it isn’t even 1987. Can’t complain about that. It’s also nice to see Nicole Kidman, who injects a dramatic performance into something that is far sillier than she is playing it. It was somewhat distracting to see her playing the mother of Momoa and Wilson, though, as she is only 12 years older than Momoa and 7 years older that Wilson. Either Kidman is a really good sport about playing older than her age or this character was a ho in elementary school. In general, though, these actors are playing things pretty straight and manage to give some gravitas to material that could easily become extremely campy (not that that would necessarily be bad).
I have made my hatred of computer effects well known, but I can also acknowledge when they are necessary. This is one such case. This movie simply would not have been possible 20 years ago and the effects are pretty damn good. I saw an IMAX 3D screening of this, and the massive underwater battles with armor-clad giant seahorses and whales and sharks with freaking lasers on their heads are amazing. I’m not one to recommend a film purely for effects, but if you are going to see this, I recommend seeing it on the biggest screen possible and in 3D. The story may be trite and cliched, but you’ll forget about that for a moment watching giant crab monsters fighting fish-men mounted on weaponized sharks. The big-selling point of the forthcoming Avatar 2 is that it takes place largely underwater and I think Aquaman may have just made that a moot point as far as marketing goes.
No, this isn’t a great superhero movie. It certainly isn’t The Dark Knight or Logan. As far as DC Universe movies go, it isn’t as good as Wonder Woman, but it’s 20,000 leagues ahead of crap like Man of Steel and Justice League. If you don’t go in with super-high expectations, you will have fun with Aquaman and hopefully give the character some of the respect that he deserves.
Image By: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaman_(film)#/media/File:Aquaman_poster.jpg
