John motherfucking Rambo. I love these movies. Well, I love most of these movies. The original First Blood is a classic action film that is far more poignant and somber than people remember. That’s because the first sequel, Rambo: First Blood Part 2, is easily the most iconic and successful of the series. That film immediately threw the series into the over-the-top direction that the series is known for and is essentially the poster child for Reagan-era action films. Rambo 3, well, it sucks. Not only is it boring, but the plot of Rambo defending Afghanistan from the Soviets has become, um, questionable in retrospect. The fourth film, simply titled Rambo because fuck logic, is a highly entertaining bloodbath of a film. If that movie doesn’t hold the body count record, then I don’t know what tops it. And your enjoyment of this new movie will likely depend on your appreciation of the fourth movie. If you are looking for the serious social commentary of the first film, then keep walking. If you want to see Rambo seriously fuck people up in horrifyingly violent fashion, then step on up.
The last movie ended with Rambo finally returning to his family ranch in Arizona, wanting to finally put the violence of his life behind him. That does not go well. His adopted daughter (or niece or something, not sure) decides to go to Mexico to ask her father why he abandoned her. Shit goes downhill in amazingly quick fashion and she is sold into a human trafficking ring. You can probably write the rest of the plot from here: It’s Rambo vs. human traffickers. As a side note, when this movie was first announced in 2009, it was titled Rambo: The Savage Hunt and it was about Rambo being hired to hunt down a genetically-enhanced monster. I think they even made early posters for it before somebody realized that they were basically remaking Predator.
Before that godawful movie with Bruce Willis was made, Stallone spent several years attached to a remake of Death Wish. I have a feeling that Rambo 5 is essentially what the Stallone’s Death Wish would have been like. That’s oddly coincidental because the Rambo and Death Wish franchises have significant tonal parallels. Both start with a serious, fairly low-key film that examines social problems. Then both of them quickly escalate into cartoonish violence in the sequels. In both series, the original movie is the best film in the series. However, in both series, the sequels are far more entertaining. If I want to show someone a quality film, I’ll show them Death Wish or First Blood. If I’m bored and looking for entertainment, I’ll put on Death Wish 3 or Rambo 4. This new Rambo is in that later category; it may not be the smartest movie, but fuck is it entertaining.
This doesn’t quite match Rambo 4’s level of violence, in which Rambo mows down the entire Burmese army with a 50 cal machine gun, but the violence here is more brutal and personal. Heads are chopped off, bones are torn out, limbs are hacked off, testicles are bashed in with hammers and if you like impalements, then this is the movie for you. Are you upset that we still haven’t gotten an R-rated Mortal Kombat movie? Well, John Rambo has you covered because he will rip out a man’s beating heart and show it to him before he dies. If a character is clearly dead, Rambo will still unload a half-clip into his face just because fuck that guy. For the love of god, you should never fuck with this man’s family. I have no idea how this didn’t get an NC-17 (it’s far, far more graphic than 3 From Hell, and that was NC-17). If you like super-violent action movies, then this will not disappoint you.
This is also possibly the bleakest of the Rambo films. The movie does not shy away from the horrors of human trafficking and sex slavery any more than it does from Rambo butchering its perpetrators. This is a dark movie about awful people doing awful things and it does nothing to commercialize the content. Even Rambo himself is seriously injured in ways that we are not used to seeing from our seemingly invincible hero. In a way, the whole film is a depressing way to end the series. The fourth film ended on a hopeful note, as Rambo arrived home to live the rest of his life in peace. Now we know that that could not be, as he sees the literal raping of the only symbol of innocence and hope in his life. That could be some sort of message about the inevitability of violence finding those that are themselves inherently violent. Or it could just be an excuse for Rambo to fuck up a bunch more people. Probably the latter.
It isn’t without flaws. It certainly isn’t a master’s class on character development. As I mentioned earlier, I can’t tell if the main girl is Rambo’s adopted daughter or his niece or a family friend or something else. Considering that their relationship is the cornerstone of the movie, I should probably be able to tell you that. Hell, I can’t even remember her name. The villains are forgettable, interchangeable goons that lack personality. There is also a reporter character that comes in and out of the film for no real reason. I’m guessing that she had a larger role in an earlier version of the film, but she could have easily been written out of the movie entirely. I can’t even remember her name either. So, if you are looking for strong character arcs and emotional resonance, this is not your film.
But this is a fucking Rambo movie, so you probably shouldn’t be looking for those things. Your enjoyment of this just boils down to whether or not you enjoy violent action movies. Is it just placating to male fantasies of hero worship and repressed anger? Yeah, probably. But I’m not here to analyze psychological themes or social value. Go to the New Yorker or some other bullshit for that. I’m just here to tell you if this is entertaining, and it sure as hell is. I’m going to miss you, John.
Image By: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rambo:Last_Blood#/media/File:Rambo-_Last_Blood_official_theatrical_poster.jpg
