Silent Night

The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+

               Legendary Hong Kong action filmmaker John Woo finally makes his return to America with Silent Night and I’m scratching my head as to why he bothered. Aside from a rather dumb gimmick that I will discuss in a minute, Silent Night is a generic and dull revenge flick that is seemingly designed to be forgotten the moment that the credits start to roll. The film isn’t particularly bad, but I sometimes wish it was worse just so that it could be more notable. Woo hasn’t made a movie in America for 20 years and its honestly confounding that this is the material that brought him back.

               Joel Kinnaman stars as Brian, a normal dude whose life is destroyed when his son is killed by a stray bullet in a gang shooting and he is shot in the throat trying to chase down the shooters. Now unable to speak, but somehow not dead, Brian spends a year training himself for war with the gang and plans to go on a vigilante killing spree on the one-year anniversary of the shooting (which happens to be Christmas Eve; the plot otherwise has nothing to do with the holidays). In terms of plot, that’s really about it. I’ll give this to Brian, though: this dude really gets shit done when he sets his mind on something. In one year (and through the magic of montages), this guy gets in great shape, learns to fight, learns how to handle guns and teaches himself how to drive a Mustang GT like an elite stunt driver. That’s a productive year. I’m guessing he quit his job.

               The plot is an uninspired retread of about a hundred other vigilante films going back to Death Wish, although it specifically reminded me of the forgotten Jennifer Garner movie Peppermint from 2018. That movie also features a normal person unconvincingly transforming themselves into The Punisher following the death of their child and that plot hasn’t gotten any more fresh in the last five years. The film also evokes comparisons with Hardcore Henry in its attempts to create a video game inspired aesthetic, complete with nearly first-person shots, a mini-boss equivalent, and a final boss equivalent. However, none of this ever amounts to anything nearly interesting enough to inject life into the numbingly stock plot. It’s not good that the two main movies that I’ve used for comparison are films that I completely forgot existed until watching Silent Night.

               Speaking of the entirely first-person Hardcore Henry, this movie also has a gimmick that quickly outstays its welcome. Silent Night contains no dialogue and that’s about as entertaining as it sounds. It makes sense that the main character doesn’t speak since he is shot in the throat, but you might be wondering something: Why the hell doesn’t anyone else speak? I had the same question going into the movie and, after watching it, I still have no fucking idea. Unlike something like A Quiet Place, there is absolutely no reason for it and it quickly becomes a distraction. For example, the main character’s wife will be texting him from the next room and I couldn’t help but wonder why she doesn’t just go “hey” since he isn’t fucking deaf. Aside from making the film feel oddly inorganic, it doesn’t exactly lend itself to character development or memorable moments. If Bruse Willis didn’t speak in Die Hard, I doubt we would be watching it and quoting it every December. This might have seemed like an interesting idea on paper, but it is an abysmal failure as an actual viewing experience.

               The action is serviceable, but I want more than that from John Woo. A lot more. The second half is an endless series of generic car chases and gun fights that don’t ever build any excitement or narrative momentum. Actually, there is one sequence that is so nonsensical that I would swear that a scene is missing. Joel Kinnaman is fine, but takes the role almost too seriously and the mute performance doesn’t give him many opportunities to put forward any personality. If Woo had made this in the 90s as his follow-up to Face/Off, I could see Nicholas Cage playing this role and at least bringing some batshit craziness to it. As it is, there is just nothing memorable about this other than the frustrating gimmick and that’s a damn shame for a director of this pedigree.

Image By: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_Night_(2023_film)#/media/File:Silent_Night_2023_poster.jpg