The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I feel like Angelina Jolie has been missing from movies for a while, so it’s kind of fascinating to see her back in this dumpster fire. Those Who Wish Me Dead is a bafflingly inept film. It isn’t even a by-the-numbers action flick because so many numbers are missing; the film […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I honestly thought that this movie was a joke the first time that I read about it. I never thought that I would seriously write the phrase “Saw IX starring Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson,” but then I read about it in a couple of other places and realized that, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- As a general rule when seeing a remake, I try to watch the original first. Wrath of Man is a remake of a 2004 French film titled Cash Truck (or Le Convoyeur, in whatever language the French speak) and, as best as I can tell, this movie is frigging impossible to […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F Prior to seeing Separation, I thought I would open this with snarky comments about how terrible that title is for a horror film. I thought people would start watching it thinking that it was a drama about foster children or something, then be surprised that it is a horror flick about […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I grew up playing Mortal Kombat games (the early ones, 1-4) and it’s hard to explain to younger audiences just how badass Mortal Kombat was in the 90s. There were plenty of fighting games before it, sure, and Street Fighter 2 was objectively the better game. But Mortal Kombat was just […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Well, this is…..different. I’m still not entirely sure if it’s any good, but it’s certainly different. First of all, In the Earth has absolutely nothing to do with its own trailers. Based on the trailers, I was expecting a Blair Witch knockoff without the found footage gimmick (I even had a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ Rarely does a movie manage to bore me within the first minute, but Voyagers pulled it off nicely by opening with exposition stating that Earth has become uninhabitable and humans need to find another planet that can serve as our home. Brilliant, I’ve never heard that one before. This has become […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B Well, you can’t say that this movie doesn’t deliver what it promises. Godzilla vs. Kong is a big, dumb, fun popcorn flick featuring two of film’s most famous monsters pummeling the shit out of each other. It’s certainly not a smart movie or a perfect movie. The plot is asinine, the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I went to the movies twice this week (to make up for an absence last week) and I actually saw Godzilla vs. Kong on the first trip. However, I’m reviewing The Unholy first because my brain is already struggling to retain the fact that this movie exists. Despite an oddly amazing […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- Nobody is the latest entry in what seems to now be a full-blown subgenre: stories of ordinary-looking guys that are secretly badasses who are pulled out of their normal lives to kick large amounts of ass. If you’ve seen the John Wick or The Equalizer movies, then Nobody is going to […]