Much like the last Star Wars movie, The Rise of Skywalker has seemingly divided the internet in half. Some are screaming about how awful it is, the rest are screaming about how great it is. It will apparently either ruin your childhood or force you to cum in your pants. I assume that this […]
It’s finally here! And it fucking sucks! This movie has been in development for nearly two-thirds of my lifetime and I remember reading about it when I was a kid. To illustrate that point, I dug the April 1997 issue of Fangoria out of my closet and it states the following: “Touchstone Pictures bought […]
Go see this movie. Don’t wait until its on Netflix, go to the theater and see it. Let me put that plea into a bit of context. Not only is Annihilation an excellent film, but the assholes that run Paramount tried to bury it by dumping it directly onto Netflix after it received poor […]
The Predator (or Predator 4, if it wasn’t titled by an asshole) is a colossal disappointment. I love the original Predator and Predator 2 is highly underrated (fun fact: Predator 2 was the first movie to receive the NC-17 rating when that replaced the X rating in 1990), but the series has been […]
What the hell is Phoenix Forgotten, you ask? Well, dear reader, that is a great question. I had never heard of this movie until it appeared on the release schedule a couple of weeks ago. I never saw a single trailer or commercial for it. It features a cast of unknowns, is from a […]
Rampage is stupid, but it’s a good kind of stupid. I vaguely remember playing the arcade game as a kid (and played the updated version at Dave & Buster’s about a month ago) and was curious about how a movie would work since the game has little plot. In the game, you select one […]
Ready Player One is a lot of fun, though that may largely be because I’m the exact demographic for this movie. This is a love letter to pop culture of the late 70s-80s. Anybody that grew up loving the movies, video games and comic books of that era will likely spend portions of this […]
Replicas is a frustrating film that feels like a product of two writers. The first writer is a pretty smart guy that wanted to write an interesting and intelligent science fiction film. The second writer is still trying to finish his 7th grade book report on The Giver because he can’t grasp what a […]
I’m starting to feel old when I watch big-budget movies like this. There is always a point, usually about an hour into the film, when I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t mean that in a general, snarky way. I mean that I completely forget who the characters are and what they are doing. […]
I had a bad feeling about this. I love Star Wars and Han Solo is my favorite character, but I had little interest in a prequel movie about him. Solo is also the latest example in a disturbing Hollywood trend of big movies that are essentially made twice. Original directors Phil Lord and Chris […]