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2019 Horror

The Prodigy

               The Prodigy is the latest evil kid horror flick, following in the tradition of films like The Omen and The Bad Seed. That’s not exactly a fair comparison because one of my favorite things about The Omen and The Bad Seed is that stuff actually happens in them. Actually, a better comparison might be […]

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2019 Horror Worst of

Black Christmas (2019)

               Around this time last year, I labelled Suspiria as the worst horror remake ever made. I didn’t intend that as some sort of challenge, but apparently that’s how the makers of Black Christmas interpreted it. This is the closest that I have ever come to walking out on a movie. Black Christmas is a […]

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2019 Best of Horror

Brightburn

               Brightburn is the best horror movie that I’ve seen in quite some time and it has an amazingly simple and obvious concept: What if Superman was not a virtuous hero, but rather a psychopathic killer? We would all be fucked. That’s what would happen.                The plot is the Superman origin story. A spacecraft […]

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2019 Horror

Child’s Play (2019)

               This movie shouldn’t be called Child’s Play. Call it anything else. Hell, call it Blood Buddy, which was the original title of Child’s Play. This isn’t a bad movie. It’s a decent horror flick that I would likely give a moderately positive review if it was called something else. However, they decided to call […]

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2019 Horror Supernatural Worst of

The Curse of La Llorona

               I heard that some sort of comic book movie came out this weekend, but first I’m here to tell you about this flaming bag of dogshit. Quick update, I saw Hellboy last week but I’ve had a very busy couple of weeks and didn’t have a chance to review it. Normally when that happens, […]

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2019 Horror Supernatural

Pet Sematary (2019)

               I was obsessed with Stephen King when I was a little kid and Pet Sematary was one of my favorite books. I read it when I was 7 or 8 years old, so I don’t remember it much beyond the broad strokes and that it was creepy and sad as hell. I have seen […]

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2019 Best of Comedy Horror Thriller

Ready or Not

               Ready or Not is a freaking blast and easily one of my favorite movies of the year. That’s especially impressive considering that this kind of thing is hard to pull off. This is a thriller/comedy and that is a tough balance to strike; usually it devolves into just being a comedy with thriller elements. […]

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2019 Horror

Midsommar

               Midsommar is the latest example of “elevated horror” or “art house horror” or several other similar labels, all of which mean that the movie is either boring or pretentious enough to appeal to people that don’t like horror movies. Such movies (like The Witch or Hereditary or that godawful Suspiria remake) allow snobby film […]

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2019 Horror

Ma

               Ma is a commentary on the potential consequences of bullying and has several important lessons for teenagers: Don’t drink too much. Don’t trust strangers. And, most importantly, don’t blow a guy in a dark closet unless you’re absolutely certain you know who it is.               More importantly, Ma is basically what you’re left with if […]

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2019 Horror Supernatural

It Chapter 2

               I am about to unload a dump truck of hate onto this movie. I also love this story. Both the novel and the 1990 miniseries had a major impact on me as a kid. I’ve read the book twice and still enjoy the 1990 version despite its flaws. I didn’t love Chapter 1 of […]