The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Damn it, The Night House is so close to being a great movie. So very, very close. For about the first three quarters of this film, I was giving it an A and ready to proclaim it the best film of 2021 thus far. Then the last quarter happened and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- The original Don’t Breathe was a clever, tense horror flick that cleverly subverted the home-invasion subgenre. The story of a group of thieve that break into a blind veteran’s home to steal his considerable savings only to discover that the seemingly defenseless old guy is actually a quite capable maniac, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ My regular readers, if I may assume for a moment that such people exist, know that I am not a big fan of this franchise. While the two proper The Conjuring entries are better than the spinoffs, I find all of them to be boring and overly reliant on cheap jump […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ First, I have to give Paramount credit for the title of this movie. Nowadays, I expected this to be called A More Quiet Place or A Quiet Place: Requiem for Sound or Silence: From the Book of A Quiet Place or some ridiculous nonsense. But, no, they went with the simple […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I honestly thought that this movie was a joke the first time that I read about it. I never thought that I would seriously write the phrase “Saw IX starring Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson,” but then I read about it in a couple of other places and realized that, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F Prior to seeing Separation, I thought I would open this with snarky comments about how terrible that title is for a horror film. I thought people would start watching it thinking that it was a drama about foster children or something, then be surprised that it is a horror flick about […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Well, this is…..different. I’m still not entirely sure if it’s any good, but it’s certainly different. First of all, In the Earth has absolutely nothing to do with its own trailers. Based on the trailers, I was expecting a Blair Witch knockoff without the found footage gimmick (I even had a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I went to the movies twice this week (to make up for an absence last week) and I actually saw Godzilla vs. Kong on the first trip. However, I’m reviewing The Unholy first because my brain is already struggling to retain the fact that this movie exists. Despite an oddly amazing […]
This is just a goddamn mess. The Turning is a new adaptation of Henry James’ 1898 novel The Turn of the Screw, which was already adapted as the 1961 film The Innocents. The Innocents is often cited as one of the best haunted house movies ever made, alongside films like The Haunting and The […]
Alright, I guess we’re doing this again. You might remember The Grudge from 2004, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. You might even be aware that that movie is a remake of a Japanese movie. You probably think that’s it. You would be wrong. This is the fourth American Grudge movie and there are eight (fucking […]