The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- I never thought that I could be this irritated by the remake of such a mediocre movie, but here we are. Firestarter is based on the 1980 novel by Stephen King, which is one of the few 80s King novels that I haven’t read. I have seen the original film […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F If saying that absolutely nothing happens in a movie is considered a spoiler, then I am about to spoil the shit of out Umma. This film broke new ground for me, as it actually showed me something that I’ve never encountered before in the thousands and thousands of horror films […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Director Ti West was hailed as the next great horror director when he burst onto the scene in 2009 with The House of the Devil (which I think is overrated) and then in 2011 with The Innkeepers (which I think is underrated). For whatever reason, he largely disappeared from the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I was quite surprised when I did my weekly check on the listings at my local movie theater and discovered a horror movie that I had never heard of before. Considering my daily visits to multiple horror news websites, it’s rare that a horror flick manages to sneak into 1,600 […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I love the original Scream. It has become somewhat fashionable in film circles to hate that movie, but I think that the backlash has more to do with all of the crap that was inspired by Scream rather than the film itself. Sure, we got a lot of terrible teen […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City is easily the best Resident Evil movie. Sure, that’s a pretty frigging low bar for a series that went six movies without even getting the genre of its source material right. And sure, this thing is far from perfect. The plot is sometimes borderline […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I went into Antlers expecting a generic monster movie. I was not expecting a serious drama about child abuse that also happened to include a creature from Native American folklore. Perhaps I should have known better since this is from the director of Black Mass and Hostiles, but I was […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I’ve often wondered what movies people will be nostalgic about in 30 years. With the modern obsession with remakes and reboots, the current generation doesn’t have much to call their own. When today’s teenagers are approaching 40, will they be nostalgic for the nostalgic reboots of movies from the 70s, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- James Wan has taken a break from mega blockbusters to return to his horror roots and proves that he has greater versatility than just making mediocre haunted house movies; he can also make terrible giallo movies. Malignant begins in a similar vein as Wan’s The Conjuring and Insidious, but quickly […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- Let me start with a bit of a disclaimer: There are plenty of reviews of Candyman that will tell you how brave or relevant or powerful the film is, or how the film is any number of other adjectives that used to actually mean something but now just vaguely denote […]