Are you excited for a sequel to a so-so horror movie from ten years ago? Hell yeah, you’re not. Seriously, I’m amazed that this movie exists, let alone that it was given a nationwide theatrical release. Classic horror franchises like Child’s Play, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Hellraiser have been relegated to direct-to-DVD hell, but […]
Prior to seeing this film, I only had a vague notion of what Slender Man is. After seeing this film, I only have a vague notion of what Slender Man is. Seriously, I don’t know what the fuck this movie is about. This movie is so bad that Sony tried to get out of […]
Overlord is not what I was expecting. Based on the trailers, I expected a goofy, over-the-top horror/comedy in the vein of Evil Dead 2 or Demon Knight. Instead, the closest comparison that I can make is From Dusk till Dawn. Not in terms of plot, but in the sense that this is basically two […]
What the hell is Phoenix Forgotten, you ask? Well, dear reader, that is a great question. I had never heard of this movie until it appeared on the release schedule a couple of weeks ago. I never saw a single trailer or commercial for it. It features a cast of unknowns, is from a […]
This review is late because I saw this nearly a week ago and I’m still struggling to articulate my hatred for this piece of shit. When I see something that pisses me off, I usually have half the review in my head by the time I get to my car. This left me with […]
I had a goddamn blast with this movie. As I’ve mentioned before, I love slasher movies and this is the first real slasher movie that I’ve seen since….I don’t even fucking know. And by “real” slasher movie, I mean R-rated so Happy Death Day can get the fuck out of here. I’m also probably […]
It’s January and that brings the finest of Hollywood traditions: a shitty horror movie to start the year. Just like Oscar bait movies in December and Michael Bay movies in the summer, early January has its own slice of bullshit that runs like clockwork. Last year brought us The Bye Bye Man, in 2016 […]
I’ve always been obsessed with the horror genre, but I have a particularly fond place in my heart for the slashers of the 70s and 80s. I grew up watching Michael Myers, Freddy, Jason, Chucky, Pinhead and Leatherface, and seeing them again on the big screen is strangely like seeing an old friend. I’m […]
For the first hour and 45 minutes of this movie, I planned to start this review by ranting about how Hereditary isn’t a horror film. And for that entire time, it isn’t a horror film. It’s a straight drama without any horror in sight. Then, lo and behold, it rather abruptly turns into a […]
I was the only person in the theater for this movie. Since I started going to the movies every week in August 2014, this is only the third time that that’s happened (the other two such cases being Tusk and The Disappointments Room). I only first heard of this film last week when I […]