I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
I seem to be in the minority with this series because I don’t hate any of the previous installments. Sure, the first one is easily the best. Yeah, they are all too long and the fourth one felt forced and unnecessary. But none of the previous sequels particularly bothered me; they are just harmless […]
I honestly can’t believe that I’m saying this, but Power Rangers is pretty good. I was fully prepared to hate this film. I had pre-planned a bunch of jokes for this review and now I can’t use a goddamned one of them. I hated the trailers for this, as they did the film a […]
So these things are still being made. The sixth film in the series adapting the classic video game franchise, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter has us again following our hero Alice (who isn’t in the games) as she returns to the Hive (which isn’t in the games) for a final battle with Dr. Isaacs […]
Murder on the Orient Express is, of course, an adaptation of the classic mystery novel by Agatha Christie. I haven’t read the book (though I have read some of Christie’s many other mystery novels), but I have seen the original 1974 film adaptation. Truth be told, while it is considered a classic, it was […]
Life sucks. Now that I’ve gotten that obvious line out of the way, let’s get something else out of the way: Life is an Alien ripoff. A damn blatant one too. Now, I’m not particularly averse to ripoffs. I love slasher movies and they are all ripoffs of Black Christmas. I rented many […]
Logan is one of the best superhero movies ever made. Speaking as a film fanatic who owns thousands of comic books, that isn’t something that I would say lightly. It is both bewildering and stunning that this was made by the same director (James Mangold) that made The Wolverine. It’s bewildering that the man […]
mother! is a pretentious piece of shit. Even the title is pretentious. Oooohhhh the title is lowercase with an exclamation point, look how fucking artsy and special I am. Fuck you. I was duped into watching this thing by a great cast (Javier Bardem, Jennifer Lawrence, Ed Harris and Michelle Pfeiffer) and a marketing […]
From the “why now?” file, we have the third installment in a horror franchise that has been dormant since 2005. I haven’t seen the first two movies since they first came out, but I remember thinking that The Ring is quite good. The Ring 2 is awful but is totally worth it for the deer […]
Thor: Ragnarok is my favorite Marvel Universe movie since the first Guardians of the Galaxy, which makes sense since they share a similar action-comedy tone, and is far superior to the first two Thor movies. Simply stated, this movie is a hell of a lot of fun. I don’t dislike the first two Thor […]
Transformers: The Last Knight is a giant middle finger to filmmaking and the whole of human civilization. I have never walked out of a movie, but this joins a very short list of films that made me seriously consider doing so. Not everyone in my theater made it to the end. We lost some […]