I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
I was really excited about this movie when it was first announced. You know why? The title. The bullshit misleading title. This is a sequel to Olympus Has Fallen and London Has Fallen and, when I heard the title Angel Has Fallen, I naturally assumed that this would be about Gerard Butler defending heaven […]
Have you ever watched Creature from the Black Lagoon and thought that it should be more pretentious and artsy? Well, here is The Shape of Water. Also, fuck you. Sally Hawkins stars as Elisa, a cleaning lady at a government facility in the early 1960s. The latest arrival at the facility is a […]
A couple of points to start: 1. It’s very odd that I’ve seen back-to-back evil doll movies with Child’s Play and now the new Annabelle. 2. After watching this, I realize that I was far too harsh on the new Child’s Play. If revealing that nothing, not a goddamn thing, happens in this movie […]
The Prodigy is the latest evil kid horror flick, following in the tradition of films like The Omen and The Bad Seed. That’s not exactly a fair comparison because one of my favorite things about The Omen and The Bad Seed is that stuff actually happens in them. Actually, a better comparison might be […]
Around this time last year, I labelled Suspiria as the worst horror remake ever made. I didn’t intend that as some sort of challenge, but apparently that’s how the makers of Black Christmas interpreted it. This is the closest that I have ever come to walking out on a movie. Black Christmas is a […]
Brightburn is the best horror movie that I’ve seen in quite some time and it has an amazingly simple and obvious concept: What if Superman was not a virtuous hero, but rather a psychopathic killer? We would all be fucked. That’s what would happen. The plot is the Superman origin story. A spacecraft […]
The Lighthouse isn’t a horror film. You can ignore all of the nonsense marketing and media blurbs about how scary this movie is, because it isn’t. The Lighthouse is a drama. If you temper your expectations accordingly, this is not an awful movie. It is a marvel of cinematography and has performances that will […]
“Finally, a female superhero on the big screen!” presumably said somebody in 1984 when Supergirl was released to theaters. Since then, the only female comic heroes that have made it into the movies are Batgirl, The Invisible Woman, Catwoman, Storm, Rogue, Mystique, Kitty Pryde, Jubilee, Psylocke, Elektra, Jean Grey, Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, Gamora, […]
The Intruder is directed by a guy named Deon Taylor and I would like to begin with an actual excerpt from his biography on IMDB: “A prolific writer, filmmaker, director and idea generator, Deon Taylor is a self-taught, creative genius. His work is innovative, his writing is cutting edge and his vision is iconic… […]
This movie didn’t hold my attention in a captive state. Yeah, that’s the best that I’ve got. I watched several people walk out on this movie, making this already the second time this year that I’ve seen that happen (the other being Greta). A friend of mine came with me to see it […]