The Empty Man was a rollercoaster of emotion. Actually it’s more like a log flume because it starts out pleasantly enough, then sharply drops you and never brings you back up again. With trailers that made it appear to be a copy of Slender Man and Bye Bye Man, I was fully prepared to […]
Author: The Film Doctor
I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Broken Hearts Gallery
Look, I’m not proud of this. Yes, I went to see a romantic comedy. Yes, I went by myself. It was just me and one couple in that theater and they seemed very annoyed that I was there. But until more movies start being released, this is all that I was left with. Even […]
Movies based on video games don’t exactly have a great track record, so I went into Monster Hunter without particularly high expectations. On the plus side, it’s directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, who directed Mortal Kombat and that’s probably still the best video game film that I’ve seen. On the downside, it’s directed by […]
At long last, because we have all been demanding it, here is the horror movie version of Fantasy Island. For the sake of everyone under around 35 years old, an explanation may be in order. Fantasy Island was a popular tv show in the late 70s/early 80s. I was born in 84 and don’t […]
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: A group of scientists/soldiers (stop) are stuck in an underground/underwater/outer space facility (really, stop) when their equipment gets damaged (fucking stop) and they are hunted by a monster (good god, fucking stop!). It has been 41 years since Alien was released, but we still get Alien […]
Tenet
If I had been writing reviews when Inception was released, I could just repost that review now with some nouns changed. Much like with Inception, Christopher Nolan has crafted a clever film with astounding visuals and concepts that are highbrow for a mega-budget Hollywood film. Also much like Inception, Tenet is a bit too far […]
I caught a special screening of Rob Zombie’s new movie 3 From Hell last night, special in the sense that it is only playing in theaters for three nights and it was the uncut, NC-17 version of the film. If you want to see it and haven’t done so already, you will have to […]
Us
Rarely do I find myself in agreement with mainstream critics when it comes to horror films, but Us truly is one of the greatest and scariest horror films ever made. If you combine the sleazy grit of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with the dark artistry of The Shining, you are getting close to how […]
Ad Astra
I was curious about this film largely because of the vagueness of the marketing. I’ve been seeing trailers for this for quite some time now and I still had no idea what it was about as I headed into the theater. I knew it was a science fiction film starring Brad Pitt and that’s […]
Alita: Battle Angel
Much like The Meg, I’m just amazed that this movie finally exists. Based on the manga (Japanese comic book), James Cameron bought the rights to make a Battle Angel film back in 1998, 20th Century Fox registered domain names for the film in 2000 and the movie was officially announced in 2003 with Cameron […]