I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I grew up playing Mortal Kombat games (the early ones, 1-4) and it’s hard to explain to younger audiences just how badass Mortal Kombat was in the 90s. There were plenty of fighting games before it, sure, and Street Fighter 2 was objectively the better game. But Mortal Kombat was just […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Well, this is…..different. I’m still not entirely sure if it’s any good, but it’s certainly different. First of all, In the Earth has absolutely nothing to do with its own trailers. Based on the trailers, I was expecting a Blair Witch knockoff without the found footage gimmick (I even had a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ Rarely does a movie manage to bore me within the first minute, but Voyagers pulled it off nicely by opening with exposition stating that Earth has become uninhabitable and humans need to find another planet that can serve as our home. Brilliant, I’ve never heard that one before. This has become […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B Well, you can’t say that this movie doesn’t deliver what it promises. Godzilla vs. Kong is a big, dumb, fun popcorn flick featuring two of film’s most famous monsters pummeling the shit out of each other. It’s certainly not a smart movie or a perfect movie. The plot is asinine, the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I went to the movies twice this week (to make up for an absence last week) and I actually saw Godzilla vs. Kong on the first trip. However, I’m reviewing The Unholy first because my brain is already struggling to retain the fact that this movie exists. Despite an oddly amazing […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- Nobody is the latest entry in what seems to now be a full-blown subgenre: stories of ordinary-looking guys that are secretly badasses who are pulled out of their normal lives to kick large amounts of ass. If you’ve seen the John Wick or The Equalizer movies, then Nobody is going to […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- Benedict Cumberbatch takes a break from the wizarding world of Marvel and returns to The Imitation Game territory with The Courier, a true story about unsung heroes in a war effort (or Cold War effort, in this case). As both an espionage thriller and a historical drama, The Courier is a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Chaos Walking was filmed in 2017, then sat on a shelf, then underwent extensive reshoots in 2019, then sat on a shelf before finally being released to the excitement of seemingly nobody in 2021. The final result is a film so steeped in mediocrity that I must wonder what the fuck […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I must admit that I’m not a huge fan of Tom and Jerry cartoons. While I grew up with the old Looney Tunes and Hanna Barbera cartoons, and literally have a Bugs Bunny cartoon on the tv as I write this, the cat and mouse pair never did much for me. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- I don’t know what the fuck this movie is or who it was made for. Hipsters, maybe, I don’t know. On the surface, French Exit seems like another entry in one of my least favorite genres: award-grabbing dramas with little plot about characters that amount to nothing but an odd collection […]