The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ Nope is a bit of a departure for director Jordan Peele in that it emphasizes a Spielberg-esque sense of fun over beating you over the head with social messages. I’m sure that there are social messages in this movie, but they are much easier to ignore if you are looking […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D My mother loves the original Jurassic Park and has come with me to see every movie in this series since that first film back in 1993 when I was nine years old. The moment that the end credits started to roll on Jurassic World: Dominion, she turned to me and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Crimes of the Future was my most anticipated film of the year because it features the return of director David Cronenberg, best known for the excellent and horrific 80s version of The Fly. Cronenberg hasn’t made a movie in eight years and I had assumed that he was retired. Furthermore, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- I never thought that I could be this irritated by the remake of such a mediocre movie, but here we are. Firestarter is based on the 1980 novel by Stephen King, which is one of the few 80s King novels that I haven’t read. I have seen the original film […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Following a musical and a Christian film in recent months, here is another genre that I don’t particularly like: disaster movies. And they don’t usually make them like this anymore. Well, except for one guy. Director Roland Emmerich has attempted to destroy the planet enough times to qualify as a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D The Matrix Resurrections is almost impressive in its pointlessness. At this point, I’m running on fumes when it comes to expressing my frustration with the modern obsession with nostalgia and my only hope is that this movie will be the jumping-the-shark moment for this cinematic wave of redundancy. Who the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C One of my favorite podcasts (The Projection Booth) described this film as “dour and joyless.” I would just stop there if it wasn’t for the arbitrary length requirements that I’ve set for these reviews. For the uninitiated, Dune is an adaptationof Frank Herbert’s 1965 novel that has become the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ Rarely does a movie manage to bore me within the first minute, but Voyagers pulled it off nicely by opening with exposition stating that Earth has become uninhabitable and humans need to find another planet that can serve as our home. Brilliant, I’ve never heard that one before. This has become […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B Well, you can’t say that this movie doesn’t deliver what it promises. Godzilla vs. Kong is a big, dumb, fun popcorn flick featuring two of film’s most famous monsters pummeling the shit out of each other. It’s certainly not a smart movie or a perfect movie. The plot is asinine, the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Chaos Walking was filmed in 2017, then sat on a shelf, then underwent extensive reshoots in 2019, then sat on a shelf before finally being released to the excitement of seemingly nobody in 2021. The final result is a film so steeped in mediocrity that I must wonder what the fuck […]