Life sucks. Now that I’ve gotten that obvious line out of the way, let’s get something else out of the way: Life is an Alien ripoff. A damn blatant one too. Now, I’m not particularly averse to ripoffs. I love slasher movies and they are all ripoffs of Black Christmas. I rented many […]
Logan is one of the best superhero movies ever made. Speaking as a film fanatic who owns thousands of comic books, that isn’t something that I would say lightly. It is both bewildering and stunning that this was made by the same director (James Mangold) that made The Wolverine. It’s bewildering that the man […]
mother! is a pretentious piece of shit. Even the title is pretentious. Oooohhhh the title is lowercase with an exclamation point, look how fucking artsy and special I am. Fuck you. I was duped into watching this thing by a great cast (Javier Bardem, Jennifer Lawrence, Ed Harris and Michelle Pfeiffer) and a marketing […]
From the “why now?” file, we have the third installment in a horror franchise that has been dormant since 2005. I haven’t seen the first two movies since they first came out, but I remember thinking that The Ring is quite good. The Ring 2 is awful but is totally worth it for the deer […]
Thor: Ragnarok is my favorite Marvel Universe movie since the first Guardians of the Galaxy, which makes sense since they share a similar action-comedy tone, and is far superior to the first two Thor movies. Simply stated, this movie is a hell of a lot of fun. I don’t dislike the first two Thor […]
Transformers: The Last Knight is a giant middle finger to filmmaking and the whole of human civilization. I have never walked out of a movie, but this joins a very short list of films that made me seriously consider doing so. Not everyone in my theater made it to the end. We lost some […]
I was looking forward to Valerian. Not because I found it particularly appealing, but just because it is the unicorn of the modern film industry: a big-budget original movie. Yeah, it’s based on some old French comics, but that’s close enough to original in a year when I’ve seen the 8th Fast & Furious, […]
Lo and behold, we have a good DC Universe movie! I despise Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Suicide Squad. Hate them. Loathe them. I named Suicide Squad the worst movie of 2016 and would have done the same for Man of Steel had I been doing such lists that year. But there was […]
This being the 9th Planet of the Apes film, I’m continually amazed by the mileage that 20th Century Fox has squeezed out of this concept. However, this is a rare instance when I prefer the reboot series over the original series. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is my favorite of the franchise […]
The person that schedules movies at Garden State Plaza sucks at their job. This was a filler week for me, there was nothing I particularly wanted to see and nothing I felt obligated to see. I just needed to see something. I try to go to showtimes between 7:30 – 8:30, as then I […]