Short of Charles Bronson, Liam Neeson may be the most unlucky bastard in the history of Hollywood. No matter what this man is doing, its almost inevitable that his family will be kidnapped and he will have to fuck shit up. That is a really stressful way to go through life. The Commuter is […]
2018 has finally given us a decent remake of Death Wish and it isn’t the remake of Death Wish. Peppermint isn’t actually just a copy of Death Wish (or a million other vigilante movies), but somehow remakes the entire Death Wish series. I’ve noted before that that series starts with a somber, serious film […]
Replicas is a frustrating film that feels like a product of two writers. The first writer is a pretty smart guy that wanted to write an interesting and intelligent science fiction film. The second writer is still trying to finish his 7th grade book report on The Giver because he can’t grasp what a […]
Alright, this has to stop. Following the Unfriended movies, this is the third movie that I’ve seen that takes place entirely via a computer screen. This gimmick needs to be killed with fire. I initially thought that maybe, just maybe this would change my mind about this kind of film. It’s in a different […]
Death Wish is, of course, a remake of the classic 1974 film starring Charles Bronson (which was already kinda, sorta remade as the 2007 Kevin Bacon film Death Sentence, but that’s complicated). Although I generally detest modern remakes, I was somewhat curious about the direction that this movie would take because the original five-film […]
I don’t even know what this movie is. I expected it to be a thriller based on the trailers, but that isn’t really accurate. There isn’t any suspense or a central conflict or really even a villain. It doesn’t have enough of a perspective to be a satire. I guess it’s a drama, though it […]
I’ve been looking forward to The Belko Experiment for awhile. The trailers promised some great actors in an absurd plot (summarized in the trailer quite nicely as “Battle Royale meets Office Space”) that looked like the kind of violent exploitation flick that rarely makes it to theaters anymore. In other words, it looked right […]
I have never been a big fan of M. Night Shyamalan, but I was pleasantly surprised by his last film, The Visit. That movie was a batshit crazy blend of horror and comedy, the tone of which I liken to a lost episode of Tales from the Crypt stretched out to feature length (I […]
Murder on the Orient Express is, of course, an adaptation of the classic mystery novel by Agatha Christie. I haven’t read the book (though I have read some of Christie’s many other mystery novels), but I have seen the original 1974 film adaptation. Truth be told, while it is considered a classic, it was […]
Jigsaw is one of the most lazy, unnecessary sequels that I’ve seen in a while and that’s fucking saying something. There are going to be spoilers here because I don’t know how to discuss Saw without being specific about the plot. This series, up until now, has had an almost obsessive dedication to continuity. […]