The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- I couldn’t care less about the first Avatar. I don’t want to belabor this point, as it’s a point that’s been made in every critical analysis of it, but it’s just a mega-budget borderline remake of Dances with Wolves, replacing the Native Americans with blue aliens. If you can enjoy […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- Violent Night is one of those concepts that seems so obvious and simple that it’s amazing that it took so long for someone to make it: It’s Die Hard, but what if it was Santa Claus instead of John McClane? Fucking brilliant, right? Why hasn’t anyone done this before? While […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I seemingly wrote the world’s only negative review of the first Black Panther back in 2018 and I’ve suspected that that review is one of the main reasons why my applications to monetize my website have been denied. Well, I’m still not making any money off of this, so I […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D The Rock has been talking about making a Black Adam movie since the late 2000s. Given that amount of time for planning, its kind of amazing how uninteresting the final product is. Black Adam is a failure as both a standalone movie and when considered as an adaptation, but its […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ The Italian poet Francesco Petrarch once wrote that “nothing is more hateful to wisdom than excessive cleverness.” There is much wisdom in the accumulated talent of Bullet Train, but the film’s obsession with its own sense of cleverness often overrides the positives on display and gets in the way of […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D My mother loves the original Jurassic Park and has come with me to see every movie in this series since that first film back in 1993 when I was nine years old. The moment that the end credits started to roll on Jurassic World: Dominion, she turned to me and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ Top Gun: Maverick may be the best sequel I’ve ever seen to a movie that I don’t like. It may be heresy for somebody my age (born in the 80s) to say this, but I find the original Top Gun to be a plotless, meandering bore and I admittedly groaned with […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- It takes either massive balls or a lot of stupidity or both to make a $90 million arthouse film and that is basically what director Robert Eggers has done with The Northman. Considering that few such productions exist nowadays that aren’t based on a comic book, I at least have […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Ambulance is a remake of the 2005 Danish film Ambulancen (I haven’t been able to find an English translation of the title). I haven’t seen the original movie because it’s frigging impossible to find in this country (seriously, somebody point me toward a copy if you can), but I do […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D I don’t normally read other reviews before writing my own, but I couldn’t help but notice the incredibly negative buzz on Morbius. To that buzz, I say the following: welcome to the party, everyone! I’ve been saying for the last couple years that most Marvel movies have become generic and […]