I admit it. I was looking forward to this. You see, folks, my bar is getting pretty fucking low. I no longer even hope that most movies will be good. I just hope that they will be memorable, for better or worse. With that in mind, the trailer for this movie is fucking amazing. […]
The Nun is the prequel to Annabelle: Creation, which is the prequel to Annabelle, which is the prequel to The Conjuring and it tells the origin story of the villain in The Conjuring 2. In other words, this movie is here to answer questions that I never gave a fuck about asking. Despite the […]
Go see this movie. Don’t wait until its on Netflix, go to the theater and see it. Let me put that plea into a bit of context. Not only is Annihilation an excellent film, but the assholes that run Paramount tried to bury it by dumping it directly onto Netflix after it received poor […]
Are you excited for a sequel to a so-so horror movie from ten years ago? Hell yeah, you’re not. Seriously, I’m amazed that this movie exists, let alone that it was given a nationwide theatrical release. Classic horror franchises like Child’s Play, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Hellraiser have been relegated to direct-to-DVD hell, but […]
Prior to seeing this film, I only had a vague notion of what Slender Man is. After seeing this film, I only have a vague notion of what Slender Man is. Seriously, I don’t know what the fuck this movie is about. This movie is so bad that Sony tried to get out of […]
Overlord is not what I was expecting. Based on the trailers, I expected a goofy, over-the-top horror/comedy in the vein of Evil Dead 2 or Demon Knight. Instead, the closest comparison that I can make is From Dusk till Dawn. Not in terms of plot, but in the sense that this is basically two […]
What the hell is Phoenix Forgotten, you ask? Well, dear reader, that is a great question. I had never heard of this movie until it appeared on the release schedule a couple of weeks ago. I never saw a single trailer or commercial for it. It features a cast of unknowns, is from a […]
This review is late because I saw this nearly a week ago and I’m still struggling to articulate my hatred for this piece of shit. When I see something that pisses me off, I usually have half the review in my head by the time I get to my car. This left me with […]
I had a goddamn blast with this movie. As I’ve mentioned before, I love slasher movies and this is the first real slasher movie that I’ve seen since….I don’t even fucking know. And by “real” slasher movie, I mean R-rated so Happy Death Day can get the fuck out of here. I’m also probably […]
It’s January and that brings the finest of Hollywood traditions: a shitty horror movie to start the year. Just like Oscar bait movies in December and Michael Bay movies in the summer, early January has its own slice of bullshit that runs like clockwork. Last year brought us The Bye Bye Man, in 2016 […]