Have you ever seen Cube? It’s an interesting sci-fi thriller from 1997 that I remember renting in middle school. I probably haven’t seen it since I was a teenager, but remember that it was about a group of strangers that find themselves locked in a building and must solve a series of puzzles and […]
As much as I love The Shining, I’m not sure if we needed a sequel nearly 40 years later. Having read the book Doctor Sleep, I think that even Stephen King may agree with me. While the book is entertaining, it is also a simple rewrite away from having nothing to do with The […]
I was planning to entertain myself by seeing how many “this feels familiar” jokes I could cram into this review, but I can’t even do that. The original Happy Death Day is a horror version of Groundhog Day in which Tree, our idiotically named hero, must repeatedly relive the same day and be continually […]
I was busy for a few weeks, but I’ve returned to tell you all about a movie that you probably won’t see anyway. You’re welcome. First of all, how the fuck is this not called 48 Meters Down? I mean, honestly, that shit writes itself. Regardless, I don’t remember much about the first movie. I […]
This is a film that doesn’t live up to its subject matter. Winchester is inspired by the real-life Sarah Winchester, the heiress to the Winchester rifle fortune who was also as looney as a toon. In real life, Sarah became convinced that the ghosts of those killed by her company’s rifles were after her […]
This review is delayed and the reasons for the delay pretty much encapsulate my feelings for this film. I saw this over a week ago and left the theater without much to say. With a really bad or good movie, I leave the theater with jokes or comments already in mind, but it’s the […]
Seriously, what the fuck? Why is there an Unfriended 2? I can’t believe that I’m even saying “Unfriended 2.” I didn’t even know that this was in production and just heard of it a few weeks ago when I saw the trailer. That was probably the most frightening trailer that I’ve ever seen, as […]
I admit it. I was looking forward to this. You see, folks, my bar is getting pretty fucking low. I no longer even hope that most movies will be good. I just hope that they will be memorable, for better or worse. With that in mind, the trailer for this movie is fucking amazing. […]
The Nun is the prequel to Annabelle: Creation, which is the prequel to Annabelle, which is the prequel to The Conjuring and it tells the origin story of the villain in The Conjuring 2. In other words, this movie is here to answer questions that I never gave a fuck about asking. Despite the […]
Go see this movie. Don’t wait until its on Netflix, go to the theater and see it. Let me put that plea into a bit of context. Not only is Annihilation an excellent film, but the assholes that run Paramount tried to bury it by dumping it directly onto Netflix after it received poor […]