The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- Megan (or M3gan, because “3” and “e” are totally the same thing) has been heralded as Child’s Play for Gen Z. In a sense, that is an accurate description. Megan is a boring, bloodless, goreless, neutered chore of a film that couldn’t possibly offend or frighten anyone. So, yeah, its […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C While watching Prey for the Devil, I had a constant and nagging feeling that I had seen this movie before. There are two reasons for this. First, I gradually remembered that I had seen trailers for this movie a year ago when it was called The Devil’s Light and scheduled […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Terrifier 2 is being distributed by Cinedigm Entertainment Group and I would like to take a moment to marvel at the massive set of balls on this company. I don’t know how they did it, but they booked the uncut, NC-17 (officially unrated) version of this movie into 800+ theaters. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F Rob Zombie, rejoice. Somebody may have finally made a Michael Myers movie as bad as your Halloween II and I didn’t think that was scientifically possible. Halloween Ends is a catastrophic trainwreck of a film. Everything about it is so misguided and ludicrous that I nearly went passed anger and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Smile was originally intended to go straight to streaming, but was upgraded to a theatrical release following test screenings with audience scores through the roof. This was apparently a good move because the film has been very well-received and the box office results are huge. I hate being that guy, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Well this quickly turned into one of the more unlikely franchises in recent memory. Pearl is a prequel to X, which was just released this past March and bombed at the box office with a gross of less than $12 million. Although very few people went to see the original, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- Well, this is not what I was expecting. If you haven’t seen Barbarian, then I suggest that you stop reading this after the first paragraph and go see it. While I’m going to avoid spoilers as much as possible, this is a movie that you want to go into completely […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ Nope is a bit of a departure for director Jordan Peele in that it emphasizes a Spielberg-esque sense of fun over beating you over the head with social messages. I’m sure that there are social messages in this movie, but they are much easier to ignore if you are looking […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A The Black Phone is my favorite movie of 2022 so far and a reminder that horror is my favorite genre despite how much I hate most modern horror films. Based on a short story by Joe Hill (aka Stephen King’s son), this is the most original horror movie that I’ve […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Alex Garland directed two of my favorite films of recent years, Ex Machina and Annihilation, so I had high hopes for his latest effort, Men. Sure, the trailers weren’t particularly inspiring and the title warns of identity politic bullshit, but I still had faith in the man. Unfortunately, that faith was […]