The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Much like superhero movies, I should have a stock review template for possession horror movies. This is my least favorite horror subgenre because filmmakers have done nothing interesting with it since The Exorcist. All genres and subgenres have tropes, certainly, but few kinds of movies are as beholden to an oddly […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I seem to be in the minority with my dissatisfaction with the fifth Scream film and, consequently, I wasn’t particularly hyped for Scream VI. However, as with Creed III, I’m happy to say that I was moderately pleasantly surprised. While this entry is still far from the best sequel (let alone […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ Despite the simple title, it’s important to note that this is the eleventh Children of the Corn movie. I’ll repeat that because I think it warrants repeating: This is the fucking eleventh Children of the Corn movie. When I mentioned this movie to people, I mainly got shocked looks and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- Megan (or M3gan, because “3” and “e” are totally the same thing) has been heralded as Child’s Play for Gen Z. In a sense, that is an accurate description. Megan is a boring, bloodless, goreless, neutered chore of a film that couldn’t possibly offend or frighten anyone. So, yeah, its […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C While watching Prey for the Devil, I had a constant and nagging feeling that I had seen this movie before. There are two reasons for this. First, I gradually remembered that I had seen trailers for this movie a year ago when it was called The Devil’s Light and scheduled […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Terrifier 2 is being distributed by Cinedigm Entertainment Group and I would like to take a moment to marvel at the massive set of balls on this company. I don’t know how they did it, but they booked the uncut, NC-17 (officially unrated) version of this movie into 800+ theaters. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F Rob Zombie, rejoice. Somebody may have finally made a Michael Myers movie as bad as your Halloween II and I didn’t think that was scientifically possible. Halloween Ends is a catastrophic trainwreck of a film. Everything about it is so misguided and ludicrous that I nearly went passed anger and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Smile was originally intended to go straight to streaming, but was upgraded to a theatrical release following test screenings with audience scores through the roof. This was apparently a good move because the film has been very well-received and the box office results are huge. I hate being that guy, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Well this quickly turned into one of the more unlikely franchises in recent memory. Pearl is a prequel to X, which was just released this past March and bombed at the box office with a gross of less than $12 million. Although very few people went to see the original, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: A- Well, this is not what I was expecting. If you haven’t seen Barbarian, then I suggest that you stop reading this after the first paragraph and go see it. While I’m going to avoid spoilers as much as possible, this is a movie that you want to go into completely […]