I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D Much like superhero movies, I should have a stock review template for possession horror movies. This is my least favorite horror subgenre because filmmakers have done nothing interesting with it since The Exorcist. All genres and subgenres have tropes, certainly, but few kinds of movies are as beholden to an oddly […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B+ As much as I love fantasy movies, I don’t know much about Dungeons & Dragons. I’ve seen the awful movie from 2000 and its two sequels (which also aren’t particularly good, but fun in a Saturday afternoon television, Hercules and Xena kind of way), but I’ve never played the board […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B As much as I like the John Wick movies, I admit that they have gradually been losing me. The original is a classic action movie and, as with most great action movies, much of the charm comes from the simplicity of its concept. Some guys just fucked with the wrong […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ I quite liked the original Shazam!, which served as a nice departure from the overly self-serious tone of the DC films of the time. Feeling more like an Amblin production from the 80s than a modern superhero film, it was a fun, lighthearted, child-centric film that also had weight to […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I seem to be in the minority with my dissatisfaction with the fifth Scream film and, consequently, I wasn’t particularly hyped for Scream VI. However, as with Creed III, I’m happy to say that I was moderately pleasantly surprised. While this entry is still far from the best sequel (let alone […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I’m not a big fan of the first two Creed movies, so I was pleasantly surprised by the superior level of mediocrity offered by this latest entry. While the first two movies suffer from numbingly boring characters, aside from a certain stallion of Italian descent, that problem is partially solved […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ Despite the simple title, it’s important to note that this is the eleventh Children of the Corn movie. I’ll repeat that because I think it warrants repeating: This is the fucking eleventh Children of the Corn movie. When I mentioned this movie to people, I mainly got shocked looks and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I had very mixed feelings go into the theater to watch Cocaine Bear, as I’m not usually a fan of what I have dubbed “meme movies.” A meme movie is something that is sold entirely on a ridiculous and/or stupid premise and is designed to trend on Twitter because idiots […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ This is fine. I mean, honestly, it’s getting really hard to say anything new about these movies. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania has had a soft critical reception for a Marvel movie, but I honestly don’t understand the distinction. I think that this is marginally better than the most recent […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Marlowe marks the return of classic pulp detective character Philip Marlowe to the big screen. First introduced by author Raymond Chandler in the 1939 novel The Big Sleep, Marlowe has since appeared in dozens and dozens of novels, short stories, radio plays and films, with the most famous portrayal of […]