I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
Replicas is a frustrating film that feels like a product of two writers. The first writer is a pretty smart guy that wanted to write an interesting and intelligent science fiction film. The second writer is still trying to finish his 7th grade book report on The Giver because he can’t grasp what a […]
Alright, this has to stop. Following the Unfriended movies, this is the third movie that I’ve seen that takes place entirely via a computer screen. This gimmick needs to be killed with fire. I initially thought that maybe, just maybe this would change my mind about this kind of film. It’s in a different […]
Short review for everyone complaining that my reviews are too long: This movie is good. Now, for everyone else: Mission: Impossible is one of those series that’s perfectly fine, but I can never remember a damn thing about them. I know that Part 2 is my least favorite and has that godawful Metallica […]
This review is late because I saw this nearly a week ago and I’m still struggling to articulate my hatred for this piece of shit. When I see something that pisses me off, I usually have half the review in my head by the time I get to my car. This left me with […]
I had a goddamn blast with this movie. As I’ve mentioned before, I love slasher movies and this is the first real slasher movie that I’ve seen since….I don’t even fucking know. And by “real” slasher movie, I mean R-rated so Happy Death Day can get the fuck out of here. I’m also probably […]
I was disappointed with the first Creed largely because I found the main character completely uninteresting. However, I was psyched when I heard the plot of Creed 2. The idea of having the son of Apollo Creed fight the son of Ivan Drago is freaking brilliant. It’s the kind of thing that I would […]
It’s January and that brings the finest of Hollywood traditions: a shitty horror movie to start the year. Just like Oscar bait movies in December and Michael Bay movies in the summer, early January has its own slice of bullshit that runs like clockwork. Last year brought us The Bye Bye Man, in 2016 […]
I estimate that approximately 80% of modern life is just lying about how much you’re laughing out loud. But do you remember the last time that something made you legitimately laugh? Not a fake, texting lol, but legitimately made you laugh out loud? And maybe you heard that same joke again months or maybe […]
Death Wish is, of course, a remake of the classic 1974 film starring Charles Bronson (which was already kinda, sorta remade as the 2007 Kevin Bacon film Death Sentence, but that’s complicated). Although I generally detest modern remakes, I was somewhat curious about the direction that this movie would take because the original five-film […]
I’ve always been obsessed with the horror genre, but I have a particularly fond place in my heart for the slashers of the 70s and 80s. I grew up watching Michael Myers, Freddy, Jason, Chucky, Pinhead and Leatherface, and seeing them again on the big screen is strangely like seeing an old friend. I’m […]