I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
I had a goddamn blast with this movie. As I’ve mentioned before, I love slasher movies and this is the first real slasher movie that I’ve seen since….I don’t even fucking know. And by “real” slasher movie, I mean R-rated so Happy Death Day can get the fuck out of here. I’m also probably […]
I was disappointed with the first Creed largely because I found the main character completely uninteresting. However, I was psyched when I heard the plot of Creed 2. The idea of having the son of Apollo Creed fight the son of Ivan Drago is freaking brilliant. It’s the kind of thing that I would […]
It’s January and that brings the finest of Hollywood traditions: a shitty horror movie to start the year. Just like Oscar bait movies in December and Michael Bay movies in the summer, early January has its own slice of bullshit that runs like clockwork. Last year brought us The Bye Bye Man, in 2016 […]
I estimate that approximately 80% of modern life is just lying about how much you’re laughing out loud. But do you remember the last time that something made you legitimately laugh? Not a fake, texting lol, but legitimately made you laugh out loud? And maybe you heard that same joke again months or maybe […]
Death Wish is, of course, a remake of the classic 1974 film starring Charles Bronson (which was already kinda, sorta remade as the 2007 Kevin Bacon film Death Sentence, but that’s complicated). Although I generally detest modern remakes, I was somewhat curious about the direction that this movie would take because the original five-film […]
I’ve always been obsessed with the horror genre, but I have a particularly fond place in my heart for the slashers of the 70s and 80s. I grew up watching Michael Myers, Freddy, Jason, Chucky, Pinhead and Leatherface, and seeing them again on the big screen is strangely like seeing an old friend. I’m […]
For the first hour and 45 minutes of this movie, I planned to start this review by ranting about how Hereditary isn’t a horror film. And for that entire time, it isn’t a horror film. It’s a straight drama without any horror in sight. Then, lo and behold, it rather abruptly turns into a […]
I’ve never been this confused by a movie in which nothing happens. Before I get any shit from Harry Potter fans, I want to preface this by saying that I don’t dislike Harry Potter. No, I haven’t read the books. But I have seen all of the movies and think that, overall, they […]
I’m starting to feel old when I watch big-budget movies like this. There is always a point, usually about an hour into the film, when I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t mean that in a general, snarky way. I mean that I completely forget who the characters are and what they are doing. […]
I had a bad feeling about this. I love Star Wars and Han Solo is my favorite character, but I had little interest in a prequel movie about him. Solo is also the latest example in a disturbing Hollywood trend of big movies that are essentially made twice. Original directors Phil Lord and Chris […]