I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
It’s finally here! And it fucking sucks! This movie has been in development for nearly two-thirds of my lifetime and I remember reading about it when I was a kid. To illustrate that point, I dug the April 1997 issue of Fangoria out of my closet and it states the following: “Touchstone Pictures bought […]
Go see this movie. Don’t wait until its on Netflix, go to the theater and see it. Let me put that plea into a bit of context. Not only is Annihilation an excellent film, but the assholes that run Paramount tried to bury it by dumping it directly onto Netflix after it received poor […]
Bear with me for a minute. I loved Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. I would get up early, get myself a bowl of Captain Crunch or Count Chocula and spend 5-6 hours in cartoon and sugar-fueled kid heaven. If you’re around my age (early-to-mid 30s), you might remember that one year we were […]
Yeah, I had never heard of this movie either until I saw it listed in the showtimes at my local theater. But that’s normal for this time of year, as studios don’t want to risk releasing anything significant against whatever Marvel movie was just released. There is almost always a little thriller or sci-fi […]
The Predator (or Predator 4, if it wasn’t titled by an asshole) is a colossal disappointment. I love the original Predator and Predator 2 is highly underrated (fun fact: Predator 2 was the first movie to receive the NC-17 rating when that replaced the X rating in 1990), but the series has been […]
This is shockingly awful. Let me start by saying that I don’t like Clint Eastwood. I fucking love Clint Eastwood. I love him as an actor, I love him as a director. He is one of the most iconic figures in the history of Hollywood and perhaps the most iconic such figure still working. […]
It’s time to travel back to a magical time called the mid-90s. It was a time when video stores supplied our weekend entertainment, TLC warned us of the dangers of waterfalls and Dunkaroos were plentiful. It was also a time when the indie movie scene exploded, largely thanks to Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Smith. […]
Yeah, I’m back. I’ve been travelling a lot for the last month and haven’t had time to write reviews. Rest assured, I have found time to keep on my movie schedule and did see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Sicario: Day of the Soldado, Antman & the Wasp and Skyscraper. To summarize those films: meh, […]
Short of Charles Bronson, Liam Neeson may be the most unlucky bastard in the history of Hollywood. No matter what this man is doing, its almost inevitable that his family will be kidnapped and he will have to fuck shit up. That is a really stressful way to go through life. The Commuter is […]
Are you excited for a sequel to a so-so horror movie from ten years ago? Hell yeah, you’re not. Seriously, I’m amazed that this movie exists, let alone that it was given a nationwide theatrical release. Classic horror franchises like Child’s Play, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Hellraiser have been relegated to direct-to-DVD hell, but […]