I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C One of my favorite podcasts (The Projection Booth) described this film as “dour and joyless.” I would just stop there if it wasn’t for the arbitrary length requirements that I’ve set for these reviews. For the uninitiated, Dune is an adaptationof Frank Herbert’s 1965 novel that has become the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I went into Antlers expecting a generic monster movie. I was not expecting a serious drama about child abuse that also happened to include a creature from Native American folklore. Perhaps I should have known better since this is from the director of Black Mass and Hostiles, but I was […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F I want to begin by quoting what is now my all-time favorite Rotten Tomatoes blurb. This gem comes to us from a positive review of The French Dispatch published by New City Film, a Chicago-based film criticism site: “An encomium to incunabula and marginalia and compulsive sketching and drenching details,.. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ I’ve often wondered what movies people will be nostalgic about in 30 years. With the modern obsession with remakes and reboots, the current generation doesn’t have much to call their own. When today’s teenagers are approaching 40, will they be nostalgic for the nostalgic reboots of movies from the 70s, […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C This is my first time reviewing a James Bond movie because it has been a whole six years since 2015’s underwhelming Spectre. That ties the longest gap between Bond entries, matching the break between 1989’s License to Kill and 1995’s GoldenEye (that delay was caused by a court battle over […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D It sucks to watch your heroes get old. Whether it’s watching a legendary ballplayer tip his cap for the last time or watching an iconic band take the stage to the realization that they are now the old men that they once rebelled against, there is nothing that makes one […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F Venom: Let There Be Carnage is one of the worst comic book movies ever made and I think I’ve seen every one of them. I hated every second of this film. I hated every second of the experience of watching this film, and I’ll review the audience at the end. […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- James Wan has taken a break from mega blockbusters to return to his horror roots and proves that he has greater versatility than just making mediocre haunted house movies; he can also make terrible giallo movies. Malignant begins in a similar vein as Wan’s The Conjuring and Insidious, but quickly […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- As a fan of martial arts movies from the 70s and 80s, I was looking forward to Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings in hopes that it would infuse some new flavor into the Marvel formula. While there are some kickass moments in early fight scenes and some […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D- Let me start with a bit of a disclaimer: There are plenty of reviews of Candyman that will tell you how brave or relevant or powerful the film is, or how the film is any number of other adjectives that used to actually mean something but now just vaguely denote […]