I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I love the original Scream. It has become somewhat fashionable in film circles to hate that movie, but I think that the backlash has more to do with all of the crap that was inspired by Scream rather than the film itself. Sure, we got a lot of terrible teen […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F “January movies” has almost become its own subgenre. This particular breed of shitty filmmaking is most associated with horror films, but also routinely expands into other genres, and the defining characteristic is that a typical “January movie” completely defies memory. It is so bland and forgettable that it dares you […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D The Matrix Resurrections is almost impressive in its pointlessness. At this point, I’m running on fumes when it comes to expressing my frustration with the modern obsession with nostalgia and my only hope is that this movie will be the jumping-the-shark moment for this cinematic wave of redundancy. Who the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- I’m generally not a big fan of prequels, as their main purpose is usually to answer questions that I never asked in the first place. Despite that, I was somewhat optimistic about The King’s Man because I’m a huge fan of the first two Kingsman movies and the prequel is […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I should probably just get this out of the way: I don’t like musicals. I especially don’t like dramatic musicals because I just can’t take a big dramatic moment seriously when people are breaking into song and dance. In West Side Story, I can’t feel the tension of an impending […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C It’s Christmas time and I feel like I’m sledding down Mount Crumpit to steal toys from all the girls and boys with the following statement: Spiderman: No Way Home isn’t very good. I know, I know. I must be a curmudgeon because this movie seems to be universally loved. I […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B I’ll start by admitting that I don’t know a damn thing about fashion. For those that know me, this will come as a shocking admission. My attire of flannels and 80s band t-shirts may signify that I’m on the cutting edge of the latest trends, but that is just a […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City is easily the best Resident Evil movie. Sure, that’s a pretty frigging low bar for a series that went six movies without even getting the genre of its source material right. And sure, this thing is far from perfect. The plot is sometimes borderline […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D The original Ghostbusters is the first movie that I can ever remember seeing and it started my love of movies. I was obsessed with it and I know it by heart. Ghostbusters 2 was (I think) the second movie that I ever saw in a theater. The Ghostbusters cartoon was […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D+ This being the fourth Marvel movie of the year, with a fifth one coming before the year ends, I’m really running out of shit to say about these things. Lame CGI monsters and lamer comic relief and blah blah. Whatever. Let’s just get fucking on with it. Eternals reveals […]