I’m just a guy that loves movies and loves talking about movies. Actually, that’s a lie. I love a lot of movies and really hate a lot of movies. But, either way, I love talking about them. I’ve been writing movie reviews for years and finally decided to share them because this interweb thing really seems to be taking off. I hope you enjoy my reviews and equally hope that you don’t bother me if you don’t.
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Welcome back to the wizarding world of who-gives-a-shit as Warner Bros. continues to bleed this franchise to the very last drop. New ideas be damned, Fantastic Beasts was originally going to be a one-off prequel to the Harry Potter series, but was then stretched into being a trilogy before finally […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Ambulance is a remake of the 2005 Danish film Ambulancen (I haven’t been able to find an English translation of the title). I haven’t seen the original movie because it’s frigging impossible to find in this country (seriously, somebody point me toward a copy if you can), but I do […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: D I don’t normally read other reviews before writing my own, but I couldn’t help but notice the incredibly negative buzz on Morbius. To that buzz, I say the following: welcome to the party, everyone! I’ve been saying for the last couple years that most Marvel movies have become generic and […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C+ In many ways, The Lost City is a throwback. Perhaps most notably, it is a medium-budgeted film that isn’t based on an existing intellectual property. That alone put it in my good graces as I entered the theater. It is also a star-driven comedy, something that has become almost extinct […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F If saying that absolutely nothing happens in a movie is considered a spoiler, then I am about to spoil the shit of out Umma. This film broke new ground for me, as it actually showed me something that I’ve never encountered before in the thousands and thousands of horror films […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C- Director Ti West was hailed as the next great horror director when he burst onto the scene in 2009 with The House of the Devil (which I think is overrated) and then in 2011 with The Innkeepers (which I think is underrated). For whatever reason, he largely disappeared from the […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: B- The Batman isn’t necessarily the Batman that I want or the Batman that I think we need right now, but I can’t deny that it has merit. I recently heard an interesting comment on one of my favorite podcasts (Best Movies Never Made, I listen to it on Stitcher) that […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C Uncharted, my ass. There isn’t a damn thing in this movie that hasn’t been done in a dozen other adventure films. The obvious comparison is the Indiana Jones franchise, but those films have already been copied so many times that Uncharted feels like a cover band that was inspired by […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: C I was quite surprised when I did my weekly check on the listings at my local movie theater and discovered a horror movie that I had never heard of before. Considering my daily visits to multiple horror news websites, it’s rare that a horror flick manages to sneak into 1,600 […]
The Doctor’s Diagnosis: F It’s that time of year again. It’s the anniversary of whatever-the-fuck Liam Neeson movie was released in winter last year (I think it was either The Marksman or Honest Thief, but I get my Neeson years mixed up), so it’s time for another shitty action movie that’s so generic that […]